I had decided not to write any more after the last blog posted on 5.3.2009. I have mentioned the reasons in the " introduction" of my book. The book is simply a collection of all the blog on this site.
Here is the title page, some other entries, and the introduction of the book
MKADK’s Journey towards Allah
Part One
Collection of Blog at:
Author: MKADK
MB
Who Sustained Me In This Effort
INTRODUCTION
Here is a partial collection of my blog:
The
purpose of writing the blog was to express my feelings and , like St. Therese
of Lisieux, tell the world about the goodness of God (blog no. 13) , a fact not appreciated in the
miseries of the world. I have recently
become personally aware of a definitive proof of God’s kindness towards
humanity.
I stopped writing my blog because I did not think that the thoughts of
this mote were important enough for the world to know them. A speck and its thoughts! Did not achieve any
spiritual success. That shows my
worthiness.Furthermore, nobody was reading the blog.
On
December 13, 1999, when I took the first practical step in the search for
Allah, I did not even know the direction . I did not believe in any religion. Except that unbearable, painful ,
love that burnt in my heart , there was no external light (similar to St. John
of the Cross, although he had the beliefs and organization, while I had none ). There was no guide. I was shown the way by books of mystics. I learned the direction and path through
reading these books and appealing to God for help. The books which particularly helped me have
been alphabetically named in a list .
Initially
I was sure that my Master, Himself, will help me so I need not worry about
anything. My thought was that if a
person tries to reach Allah and during that effort does not care for the
enticements of this world, then surely, God must be appreciative of his
dedication and will help him; show him the way.
But
now, after twelve and a half years, this hypothesis has seriously been damaged.
Apparently God has not helped one bit (see Brother Lawrence’s experience, blog
15) If He provided help, in secret, that may be a different matter. I am off course, unaware of it. Maybe after a few more years, if my desires
get fulfilled, this theory may be
restored. Or, it may be God’s desire, that all travelers must come, completely,
of their own free will, their own
volition and not due to any compulsion or thought of reward. Just because they
love Him. The searcher must face all the difficulties himself, with patience
and perseverance. If God were to keep on
helping him in his trials and tribulations to reach Him, then it will be a bit like
if I give money to some one to praise me – what good will be such praise? As a
matter of fact, now I think the immense
impediments of this travel are one absolutely necessary component of it. The second component is love for God. A love, which does not demand anything in
return. Not a hint of expectation of any reward from God (I am only talking
about the ‘path of love’. I do not profess
to know of other paths). Therefore
, in this particular path, one should
not request anything from God because it smells of compensation and wages. It denotes lack of contentment with what God
has given you and unhappiness with His decision. As St. John of the Cross would say “This is
not the way of the cross”.
How
much road has been travelled? I do not
know. Those milestones which mystics have mentioned have not yet come.
Therefore,
probably, despite daily meditation ( except a period of illness), it is still
the beginning. My brother asked a great
mystic (Qalandar) about me. He replied: “ I came in this area as a young
man, fifty-fiftyfive years have passed.”.
Then the mystic was silent.
That ‘great adept’ lived in a
cave on a hill. This was his answer,
meaning, it is a lifelong effort.
Then he suddenly said “He has a Hindu
friend who is a good man, a pious man, a man near to Allah”. The great mystic was 6-7 thousand miles away
from my Hindu friend. How did he know
about my friend? Only he knew this
secret . Though, my friend, in my opinion,is near God. He used to go into Smadhi, ( trance like state ) once or twice daily for 10-20
minutes, during which he would be lost in thought of God, oblivious to time and
space. During
some the smadhis, his hands would
start smelling of sandalwood, a scent
associated with Lord Krishna. Mention of God’s name often
brought tears to his eyes. Very few
people knew this aspect of his life (see blog 5). He had never met or heard of the ‘great Muslim adept”.
For
searchers of God, love for God is very important. Such people go to great
lengths to acquire this gift . I was given this boon, free, from the very first
day of the quest. I am utterly and completely grateful to God
for giving it to me.
I
have never had a spiritual experience. But if I do not mention two blessings,
it will be tantamount to ungratefulness.
First, is the bliss during a part of the meditation. This blissfulness is due to the imagined
presence of God. One’s senses are
necessary to develop and maintain this thought.
Therefore I do not want to lose my senses and become oblivious like some
yogis and durveshes do.
Secondly,
after some time, thoughts start focusing on God. They do wander but not for long. Magnet of God pulls them towards Himself, as
if, they were tied to an elastic band.
Journey
continues…
…........A journey without
end and an unknown destination. Therefore all seekers continue to be travelers,
some ahead and some behind. This road has milestones,rest areas,ups and downs
(as told to Shahab by his hidden and anonymous mentor).
MKADK
November 15, 2011, Rewritten on
July 19, 2012
“ Purity of love for God often requires anonymity unless
there are other overriding concerns or the person becomes mad (majzoob or Must Qalander)”
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