195. Mkadk’s progress

There has been some recent progress. It started on 2-3 of Dec 2015.

There are always ups and down in this journey. Aridity and bliss alternate with each other, till one reaches the final stage, when one becomes connected with God all the time. Then these cycles end, and there is peace and contentment constantly. Now all my sessions are good, full of bliss. In 4/15 and 5/15, I had asked BBJ to pray for me, that I should get my two goals, ‘Green Allah, and a supernatural spiritual event ‘. Those have not occurred. The door to God is still closed as ever. It will open at age 78, or earlier, as promised by QA. BBJ said he cannot help me, nobody can, God wants it that way, but he can pray that my path may be made easier ( 5/15). He asked RQ to raise his hands and pray with him. Both prayed for me.  I think God granted their prayer. My path has become easier

This easing of path, if true, and if it continues, is a great milestone achieved. My path has been made tremendously easy. It is due to the predictability of the bliss during my morning session. Another factor is that I have finally started believing that I will get my goal in less than five years. Although I am terribly impatient and don’t want to wait. I would rather die today without finding God, than to wait for 5 years. But it is still better than never finding God at all. Why this waiting? I think it is unjust. I constantly fight with God about it. I want to understand the reason behind it.

Meditation period has increased. From 4 hours to 5 hours every day. Now I have an evening one hour book reading session

Tears have increased; from one time a day to 2 times a day. Bliss, in the morning session has increased.

SK (the chief disciple of QA) is going to sing my five Urdu poems. He had been a professional wandering singer, so he knows better.  QA also listened to my poems. His remark was that they reminded him of old time when similar verses (of love and separation from God) used to erupt from his heart. Now, off course, he is all the time connected with God.

He must be close to eighty  at this time.

I had written a letter to QA, and put it under the sign of Allah, in my meditation room. I wrote it on 2/15/13. It consisted of 2 questions. I had completely forgotten it. The other day I found the paper and was amazed that both questions have been answered. The two questions were:

When will I find God?

Is it true, or just my imagination, that a receiver has been installed in my head? If any of the great spirits, present in this room want to answer these questions, they are welcome

The second question was answered by Shah Sahib in 2014 or 2013. RQ asked him this question on my behalf. He said “it is true. Receiver has been installed. To further improve it depends upon him”.

The second question was answered by QA in 5/2015 and again in 6/15, once through SK and once by wireless communication directly to RQ. How many persons in the whole world are lucky enough to be told, years in advance, that they are in the notice of God and have been accepted for the greatest honor that a human being can get in this life; an honor granted not by any human being but by God Himself. Just the thought of the Master looking at me fills me with awe and gratitude. I want to share it with the whole world. I want to shout on rooftop “o’ people of this world, I have been selected by God! Me, mkadk. And God approved its disclosure to me through QA. QA would have never told RQ, without God’s permission. He could not have been given this knowledge by God, if God did not want it. Why did God want me to know? To comfort me, what else? Seeing my anguish he took pity on me. He could not grant me the reward now (instead of age 78), because I am not ready. I don’t have the capacity to handle it. Remember, my own poem (blog 61, The Riddle): “Trained according to capacity and need”. This episode clearly shows that God is personal ( as a matter of fact He is both personal and impersonal, as I have previously discussed it in blog 114): unchanging God and His kinetic energy))

It is most amazing that my letter with the two questions has been answered.

What a relief? It also almost guarantees that I will live till that time (2020 or earlier). Although QA was careful to state that I will get my goal only if I live that long. He also said that the desire to live has gone in him (mkadk). However I am certain that God won’t let me die without rewarding me. That is how God works. Effort must be rewarded. His justice absolutely demands it.

Living till 2020 is not a joy for me. I would rather die today, unfulfilled. This is because I don’t want to live away from God for almost five years. Pain and anguish has decreased now, as compared to a year ago.

I also think it is not fair that I have never been given even one bit of spiritual reward for 16 years. No spiritual event. Although others have been like me; Brother Lawrence did not get even a bit of reward for 10 years, Philip John (Searcher from England, see blog 64) for over 25 years. But I am not sure they never saw a spiritual supernatural event in others. Philip John met many Qalandars in the desert of Sindh; he may have seen a spiritual event first hand while he was with them.

Brother Lawrence had written at one place that God liked his talk. If he forgot to talk to Him for any length of time, He gently reminded him and drew his attention( blog 18). Pleasant sensations occurred in him, so pleasant that he was embarrassed to mention them. Now, for the last 3 weeks when in the evening I sit on a sofa to read a spiritual book and get into the spiritual mood, pleasant sensation develop on the face and last till the end of one hour session. This instant reward is something new. I have been given a spark of the fire which raged in Brother Lawrence.

 

If you are curious about the Green Allah, you deserve an explanation.  My wish is that whenever I should close my eyes and think of God, I should be able to see the Green Allah sign , as it is written on a piece of paper and hanging on a wall in my meditation room. I made it myself, and MB and I colored it green and sprinkled glitter on it. The sign should appear on the back of upper eyelids, as in a dream, and not back in brain, as one sees things in imagination. I have never been able to do it, even for one second. All thoughts should be focused on God at that time( to prevent thoughts from wandering, something is required in the field of vision ), and I should forget passage of time. I should be neither asleep nor unconscious.

My second desire, to experience a supernatural spiritual event, is important to me. I want to be touched by this limitless, mysterious, God’s spiritual system. Only then would I believe it. If QA would merely contact me directly, over a distance of thousands of miles, I would be satisfied. He has the power to do so. He has sent instructions to RQ and SK many times by imprinting the words in their brains. I requested him but he denied my request.  Shahab received a letter from Germany. That was an example of a supernatural spiritual event (Blog 65). No doubts are left in an open-minded person’s  mind after such an event.

167.foreword

167. Foreword

 

Mkadk presents part four of my ‘Journey towards the Great God’. It is a collection of blogs 134-166. I have made no further advance in my quest. It has gradually dawned on me that I have two missions; first mission is to reach God, and the second is to invite others to the Light of God. As of now, I have failed in both missions. The door of God is still closed and I have not awakened the love of God in anybody. Those who are worldly, do not read my blog, or books, or listen to my poems on YouTube. They are not interested in God. Those who are religious are happy in their own rituals. They do not have an inner thirst for spirituality. They praise God, they thank God, they pray to God, they are afraid of God, but they do not love God. They are not even attached to God. They do all those things as a habit, in an absent minded way. Those who are devout worshippers do not need my book because they are quite content, and may get nearness to God in their own way. Only two persons have really liked my books, and praised them, but they are already far advanced in mysticism, much more than I. One of them, Shah Sahib, said, “He should not concern himself about approbation from others; he has been assigned a task, he should just do it.”

 

Whatever I wanted to convey to others has been completed. In these four books I have attempted to answer all the riddles which had perplexed me for years. I will keep on writing more blogs, but they will be about men and women of God or of books, but not about complex subjects. Here is a summary of those topics that I have covered:

1. There are eighteen blogs on God (blogs 97-114).

2. There are three blogs on mysticism, as I understand it (blogs 93-95)

3. There are nine blogs on Fate versus Free will (blogs 134-142)

4. There are six blogs on the systems created by God for the governance of this world (blogs 143-148)

5. There are three blogs on development and critique of religions (blogs 149-151)

6. There are twelve blogs on dark night of the soul (blogs 39-50)

 

Some things have to be added about the proof of God, as provided in my blogs. Without the existence of God, one cannot explain the creation of universe, prophecies about future events, miracles, answer to prayers, and the existence of spirits of dead people. Atheists scoff at these five arguments. They call it “God of gaps argument”. What they mean is that science cannot explain certain things, such as those I have mentioned. They say, these are gaps in our knowledge. That does not mean there is God who is the perpetrator of them, therefore, they are not proofs of God. We, the scientists, are working on these gaps. May be in another five hundred or a thousand years, we will have satisfactory scientific explanation of them.

 

Although I do agree, as I have mentioned in blog 146 (Reply of Einstein), that these supernatural events must be carried out by some yet undiscovered laws, because that is the way of God; everything follows laws, created by Him. Therefore, in a sense, nothing is supernatural. However, even if a thousand years from now we discover the new laws explaining these occurrences, they will still point to a Supreme Mind.

 

The obstinacy of atheists astounds me. They follow two basic assumptions, without any absolute requirement or logical reason to adopt them, as if they were some self evident truths, such as that an elephant is bigger than an ant. These two assumptions are: There is no God, and Revealed knowledge is not true knowledge because it is not testable. All their hypotheses regarding these five supernatural phenomena are based on these two rules that they have adopted. Let us examine some of them.

 

1. God created the universe, because nothing can be created from absolute nothing (discussed in detail in blog 101). Therefore atheist scientists said; No! Universe must have been created from nothing, since we, the scientists, believe that there is no God (and that is an inviolable, unshakable fact to us). A scientist Alan Guth called the universe, an ultimate free lunch.

2.   Bertrand Russell said“...The universe is just there, and that's all.” That means there is no origin of universe. So, Russell denies the current understanding that the universe started from a Big Bang 13.8 billion years ago, and stars and galaxies gradually evolved.

3. David Hume, a Scottish philosopher, said that there are no miracles, because miracles violate laws of nature, which is impossible. It is just superstition. St Augustine relates the miracle of incorrupt dead bodies (blog 160):

“God revealed Bishop Ambrose, in a vision, where the bodies of martyrs Protasius and Gervasius were hidden.  All these years (over two hundred) You had preserved them incorrupt.”

 

Saint Augustine was far from a superstitious fool.

 

4. The chance of intelligent life to arise is 1 followed by 117 zeroes (see blog 153). This is an extremely small chance. The answer by atheist scientists is; have infinite universes. Infinite has 1 followed by infinite zeroes( trillions, googol, googolplex or even more zeroes ), at least  in one of them ( one out of 10¹¹⁷) everything would be exactly right, and intelligent life will emerge.

We cannot fathom one universe. Consider having infinite universes! Who created them? It reminds me of world of fantasy. Create whatever you want, in your mind, and call it a hypothesis, without an iota of data. Keep the mantra; no God, no revealed knowledge.

 

Coming back to the beautiful world of spirituality. God is not a supposition to the great mystics and prophets, because they have actually experienced God. Some have actually seen the light of God, although it had deleterious effects on them. Moses and Saint Paul and Shah Sahib saw it. Moses fell unconscious. Paul became temporarily blind. Shah Sahib (his original name is Noor Alam), a Sufi mystic, told my brother, that he can see the light of God in his mind’s vision, with closed eyes. This mote has written three blogs on Shah Sahib ( 153-155).

These scientists must pause for a minute and realize the absurdity of their denial of a Creator, because it requires three suppositions: universe was created from absolute nothing; intelligent life emerged by itself, against insurmountable odds; and all these dozens of incidents which I have narrated must be wrong and these persons must be liars. It is as if a man was hit three times with lightning on his three birthdays

 

St Augustine could not answer the question that how prophets could see future (blog 159). He wrote:

“For it is utterly impossible that things which do not exist should be revealed. The means by which You do this is far beyond our understanding. I have not the strength to comprehend this mystery, and by my own power I never shall.”

 This mote has attempted to answer this riddle. See explanation 6 in blog 141 and further discussion in blog 142.

Fifteen years and two months have passed since the start of my journey towards God

 

Mkadk

 13^th February, 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

155. Shah Sahib. Part Three

 

11/14/14. I talked to my brother today. He gave the following news:

When he was in train with Shah Sahib, he asked Shah Sahib whether he ever had any doubts about Islam.  Shah Sahib replied, “How can I even have an iota of doubt about Islam, when I found the light of Allah through Islam. One can reach God through different paths and creeds (same thing which Great Mystic of Khyber Pass, Yogi from India, Sri Ramakrishna, and the Baba from Saudi Arabia had said)”. He said that the study of the life of Prophet Muhammad^pbuh cannot be done without the study of Hadith ( sayings of the Prophet), because his life was not a secret. It was open. He lived with his companions, and had been observed by 20-25 thousands Muslims. Some of them had known him since he was a young man. Most of the Hadiths are reliable. Certain aspects of his life, like marriages, have been criticized. So be it.

 

Shah Sahib said a great thing, which delighted my heart. He said he respects other religions too. They are true also. It is just that the followers of the religions distort the message. However, the followers of each religion must follow their commandments faithfully, like doing good, and helping others. Thus Shah Sahib did not insist that Islam is the best, and the only true creed, a cause of so much bloodshed and intolerance.

The other day my brother was sitting in Data Durbar when a man approached him. He said are you Mr. …….? My brother replied in affirmative. He said last night he had a dream. In the dream a venerable person appeared and said “ Go to Data Durbar. There will be a person, ………, wearing white dress. Give him five hundred thousand rupees. So here are five hundred thousand rupees”. My brother asked him how did the person in the dream look like? That man replied that he could not tell, the features were not clear.

Soon my brother received clear orders from a different source. He learnt that this money is for enclosing the grave of Shah Sahib with a quadrangular wall. It should have two doors, one in the North and the other in the South side. So my brother went to the village of Shah Sahib. He gathered two village elders and the special Disciple. He told them the plan of the wall and gave the Disciple the money. It requires registration of the deed for the land in a Government office. Money was put in a steel safe deposit. 

This incident tells three things: a special spiritual site at Sayva is being created, already supplicants have started coming. Secondly, that Data Sahib, with the approval of God, takes care of his special disciples even after they die. Through the tomb of Shah Sahib and this mote’s blog, Shah Sahib’s name will be remembered, perhaps for a long time. Thirdly, it means Shah Sahib was no ordinary person. 

What can I say about the life of Shah Sahib? His life was an embodiment of Sufism, at its best. Never married, lived in poverty, never extended his hand to others. He met his expenses by accepting money from the grateful persons helped by him. Acceptance of such donations is allowed in mysticism, provided the money is given freely (mystics never ask for money, their gift is free) and is small (bigger donations are accepted if many students are attached to the shrine, or if free food is distributed). He even set his own money aside for grave-diggers. He bought his own coffin. He loved God. He got everything through Data Sahib. He helped the sick and the needy that came to him. He was a spiritual guide to my brother and this mote, although I never met him in person. I am honored that he mentioned this mote by name minutes before his death.

I do not know what special powers he had. He could cure some ailments. He had a receiver in his brain to receive messages. He knew of events, such as my brother’s meeting with the yogi from India. He could discern spirituality in others.

The Merciful God rewarded him for his lifelong piety and gave him the great gift of His Light. Such a reward is extremely hard to earn. As St Teresa of Avila (and Brother Lawrence) remarked (see blog78):

“If there is a single thing to which a man clings, it is a sign that he sets some value on it; and if he sets some value upon it, it will naturally distress him to give it up, and so everything will be imperfection and loss (also mentioned in blog 37)”. Probably Shah Sahib was close to that stage.

 

 

Footnote one. Spiritual light is very powerful. Nobody can endure it. Moses fell down unconscious. St Paul fell down from his horse and became blind for three days. A Qalandar who has been my brother’s mentor, and got injured in Data Durbar (blog 64), became oblivious to time and space (Jazzab) for over three weeks.

Footnote two. My brother survived the fire with only the clothes he was wearing. That was the greatest calamity of his life.

Footnote three. This mote has a different interpretation of the incident of fire. The fire occurred due to electric malfunction. It was a natural incident, not ordained by God. But  he was saved by the intercession of spiritual forces. I have called this Minor Interventions in blog 145.

154. Shah Sahib. Part Two 

 

In 1978, he got a spiritual reward. That meant he had been noticed by God. In 1980 he was given some reward by Data Sahib. Since 1970 he has been established in Data Sahib and that holy man (who is deceased now).

In 2002, he had a tremendous advancement. He received what he had always wished. He had the vision of God’s light. Now, he has become so advanced that when he closes his eyes he can see the light very soon. It is a bright light. It has a second quality that it gives Shah Sahib peace.

My brother asked him whether he had ever opened his eyes, while he was seeing the light. Shah Sahib replied “No. I know by my own knowledge that if I open my eyes, either I will go blind or die, because nobody can see God”(see footnote )

 My brother enquired, “Are you aware of time and space when you are with this light?”

Shah Sahib smiled and replied, “How can one be aware of anything when one is with God? If you are aware, then you are not with God. The light lasts for 10-20 minutes, and then one comes back to his surroundings.” 

He said he has only followed the path of Sufism (follow the Shariat), and not that of Qalanders (independent of Shariat).

 He said that the path towards God is very difficult. The path of Qalandars is even more difficult than that of Sufis. He said to my brother that “you are a very rare person who is close to the practitioners of both paths (because of approval from both Data sahib, a sufi, and Baba lal Shah, a Qalandar, see blog 63)”. He talked about me and said “Whatever duty he is given, he should keep on doing it. It is true that he got less time, but that must have been God’s will”.  On another occasion he had said that spiritual powers helped your brother(mkadk) in his journey.

My brother said that he has been told several other things, which he cannot divulge to me.

Shah Sahib said that he can receive messages from others, but he does not have the capability to transmit messages. The spirit of Daata Sahib has communicated to him many times. He said that to communicate with the spirits of dead people, needs a separate and different technique and knowledge, which Sufis should not learn. 

Shah Sahib said a strange thing, that persons who are on God’s path are closely monitored. My brother asked, that the fire which burnt his building (see footnote), and his recent rickshaw accident in which he broke his clavicle ), were they ordained by God, or just natural, random, events? Shah Sahib said they were not random natural events. My brother said that then how do you explain that 15-16 innocent persons died in the fire. Shah Sahib said what is death to God? ( see footnote three )

 

My brother said that the face of Shah Sahib was shining and radiant with spiritual glow. He could discern a halo around his face.  

Shah Sahib now lives in a small village near Sahiwal, called Saywa, where he helps people with daam.

Shah Sahib decided to go back to his home. A berth was reserved in the train. My brother accompanied him in the journey. Shah Sahib did not allow him to go all the way to his village. He put him in a horse driven carriage. 

11/4/2014. Today I talked to my brother. Shah Sahib died 3-4 days ago. My brother received a message from somebody to go to Shah Sahib’s village immediately. Meanwhile a man from village also arrived. When my brother arrived at the village, Shah Sahib was still alive. Shah Sahib said ‘I was waiting for you. My time has come. I can no longer see the Light of God on closing my eyes. This vhachowra (separation) is unbearable.’ My brother could still see the halo around Shah Sahib’s face.

Shah Sahib said to him ‘I am not in a position to give you any gift. Tell your brother (Mkadk) that God likes tearful prayers.  He should beg God with tears (as if I have not shed enough tears).’  

Shah Sahib had called for the headman of the village. His special disciple was also present. He told my brother to give Shah Sahib’s handkerchief to the special disciple. He also told my brother that after his death he should be buried as soon as possible, and my brother should lead the prayer of the dead (Namaz-a-jinnaza). My brother told him that he has never lead a prayer, but Shah Sahib did not listen to his plea. He said to the special disciple “He ( my brother ) is your superior, never disobey him. I am giving you these three orders/advices: always speak truth; don’t prey upon the visitors who will come here, all of you ( there were 5-6 disciples/hanger-on’s) will have enough for your needs; you ( the disciple ) give the final wash to my dead body.” Shah Sahib told my brother to leave his books intact in the room and to bury him in the coffin which was there in the room. He added, ‘there is small amount of money also. Pay the grave-diggers from that money. If any money is left, distribute it amongst the disciples.’

 Shah Sahib soon died. He recited Kalma (the first and foremost tenet of Islam) before his death and said something like ‘Molah (God) I am coming’, or similar words. 

60-70 persons attended the Namaz-a-jinnaza. The headman gave some sketchy details of Shah Sahib. He said “Shah Sahib arrived 10-15 years ago. He was sitting, and was oblivious of his surroundings. The villagers recognized that he was a majzoob (a person who is in a state of juzzab, or absorbed in God).  They looked after him. Once an important person’s daughter became very sick. Shah Sahib cured her. That man gave this piece of land to Shah Sahib, where eventually two rooms were built. He would disappear from time to time ( presumably went to the shrines at Pakputtan and Lahore). His fame spread and supplicants started coming.” 

To be continued

153. Shah Sahib. Part one

153. Shah Sahib. Part one

 

A man of God, died last week. 

He was called Shah Sahib. His original name was Noor Alam. My brother first met him a few years ago in Data Durbar (the popular name of the shrine in Lahore, Pakistan, of Data Gunj Bakhash, also called Data Sahib, an 11^th century mystic). At that time my brother was very sick. He was vomiting blood and had abdominal pain. He fell down in streets couple of times and was taken to a hospital. He was diagnosed with cancer (although that part is not documented). One day he met a durvesh (Muslim ascetic) in Data Durbar. He brought some food for the durvesh. The durvesh said do you have cancer? My brother replied in affirmative. The durvesh said that in a far flung area a Qalander lives; only he has the ability to cure you. That durvesh was Shah Sahib. My brother took that journey, and met the Great Mystic (see Foreword to book 2, blog 53), who cured him. 

On his second visit to the Great Mystic, the Mystic enquired about the health of Shah Sahib. That shows that the mystic not only knew Shah Sahib but held him in great regard. 

When my brother had his meeting with the yogi who always wore dark glasses (blog 64), Shah Sahib knew, on his own, that my brother had met the yogi. He is the one who told my brother that the yogi’s glance can burn. 

On one occasion, he told my brother that he spent many years in mountains of Kashmir with his spiritual guide. 

Shah Sahib read Part one of my books. His remark to my brother was that nobody will know anything about Islamic mysticism from this book. He said it not in a critical way but in a sad way. I did not know anything about Islamic mysticism; therefore I had briefly mentioned the little that I knew in one blog (blog 32).  It was his remark that prompted me to read more about Islamic mysticism which resulted in several blogs in parts 2, 3, and 4. 

Shah Sahib read part 2 of my book. My brother told him that I wanted his impressions about part 2. First he was amazed at the notion that I wanted his opinion. He said, “It is a very good book. He has understood mysticism correctly (blogs 93-95). He should not worry about other people’s opinion. He has this duty, he should just do it.” 

I made a tape of the Urdu translation of some of my poems and recorded them in my own voice. I told my brother to ask Shah Sahib if he would want to listen to them. He said “off course, I want to listen to them, but in private. Give me two hours.” They were in Data Durbar. When my brother came back he found Shah Sahib in Juzzab (smadhi).

Here are excerpts from my recent notes: 

10/17/14.  Shah Sahib is very sick. He is likely to die. He has diarrhea. This is his second such illness. On his previous sickness he stayed with my brother. My brother looked after him. He washed Shah Sahib’s soiled clothes himself, instead of giving them to a servant for washing, because the servant may have felt repugnance.

He is not eating anything. He was sick prior to coming to Lahore, but he insisted to coming to Data Durbar, as if he wanted to say goodbye. He is staying with somebody else but it is my brother who is looking after him for the last 5-6 days. He told his life story for the first time. 

He was born near Pakputtan. His name is Noor Alam. Both his parents died when he was a child. He had an elder brother who wanted him to become a laborer, but Shah Sahib wanted to study. He was in fifth grade at that time. He left the house and came to Pakputtan and lived there for several years, because there was free food available in the famous shrine over there. He did kitchen work (washing dishes, etc) in a hotel and also studied. He passed his matriculation (10^th grade) examination in 1970, by getting about 550 marks.

He saw the people around the shrine and became disenchanted with them because they were frauds and cheats. He hated the residents over there because they preyed upon the gullible villagers. 

He moved to Lahore and settled near Data Durbar, because there was free food available at the shrine. There, also, he saw deceit, but to a lesser degree. He bought some books and studied. He prepared for F.A. examination. A leader of the Shrine Trust noticed him. He was touched by his zeal for education and his poverty. He gave him a room in the Shrine. One day he was sick, and the exam was very close. As he was weeping, a holy person came to him and did a daam(a spiritual prayer for healing ). He got well the next day. He passed his F.A (12^th grade) in 1972. He gravitated towards that holy person, who guided him towards spirituality.

 

To be continued