45.Dark night of the soul, seventh installment

How should the person behave during this purification of senses?

You saw that nothing is helpful during this period until Divine help comes. Not reasoning, not meditation, not anxiety, not anger at God. Therefore, one should have patience and loving trust in God. Remember, faith carried Brother Lawrence through his ten years ordeal (see 19. Brother Lawrence). Let me quote:

“It seemed to me that creatures, reason, and even God himself were against me, and that faith alone was on my side.”

One should also continue his practice of prayer.

What are the benefits accrued by the traveler during the first night? At least nine major and several minor.

1. The first major benefit is the knowledge of oneself and how lowly he is. Beforehand one was happy and contented. He becomes miserable and helpless now which causes him to realize his own lowliness. He starts to commune with God with more respect and courtesy.
2. He learns the majesty and greatness of God. He realizes that he cannot do anything without God’s help. The period of aridity has shown him the impotence of his efforts.
Thus God gives the soul knowledge, during this dark and dry period, of his own wretchedness and imperfections and God’s splendor and eminence.
3. His senses (sensual desires) are dampened. This increases his understanding because sensual desires (even for spiritual things) impede understanding of the truth.
4. Spiritual humility replaces spiritual pride.
5. He develops love of other human beings. Beforehand he was exalted and felt better than others. Now he remembers his own misery. He is more tolerant of others and sees good in others.
6. Spiritual greed, spiritual gluttony and spiritual luxury are removed or greatly diminished. Remember these were three of the seven imperfections. The soul is freed from them because it does not get any sweetness and inebriation from his spiritual practices. There are several other imperfections which get better.
7. Lust and desire are quenched. Once they are quenched, tranquility sets in.
8. A great benefit results from loss of desires and passions and ever increasing love for God, and that is the constant remembrance of God. These passions and desires were previously clouding the soul
9. There is another great benefit of this purging, and that is the practicing of several virtues by the soul, such as patience, steadfastness, and equanimity during sorrows.



In short, the above mentioned benefits can be summarized into, constant remembrance of God, purity of soul, peace, and practice of several virtues. He also becomes humble. Humble towards himself, others, and God. On top of all these benefits, God gives him knowledge and sweetness in secret ways which he is unaware of.


In St John’s words:

“these time of aridity then cause the soul to journey in all purity in the love of God, since it is no longer influenced in its actions by the pureness and sweetness of the actions themselves, as perchance it was when he experienced sweetness, but now he only journeys by a desire to please God …………..”




To be continued

44.Dark night of the soul, sixth installment

We were talking of what happens during the first dark night

In St John’s own words:
“When they are going about these spiritual exercises with the greatest delight and pleasure, and when they believe that the sun of Divine favor is shining most brightly upon them, God turns all this light of theirs into darkness, and shuts against them the door and the source of the sweet spiritual water which they were tasting in God whenever and for as long as they desired……”

“…….everything seem to be going wrong with them”

There are two signs of this condition ( ( i.e, sorrow during the first night ):

First, the person does not find any pleasure in anything, whether pertaining to God or any created thing. Second, God is in his thoughts constantly. He worries that he is not doing enough for God or he is backsliding in his quest of God. This second point distinguishes this condition from that of clinical depression. In depression one is not preoccupied about God.

The period of aridity is not continuous, but is interspersed with episodes of joy and sweetness during spiritual exercises, similar to what the traveler used to enjoy before he entered the first dark night of senses. Perhaps this is done to lighten their burden, which may otherwise break their spirit and completely crush them.

The cause of the greatest grief to these travelers is not the aridity itself, but the thought that God has abandoned them. They go over, in their minds, that what sin they might have committed which has displeased God and for which they are being punished.

This period of deprivation, darkness and misery may last for years. In the case of a great 14th century mystic, Suso (1), both nights lasted for about ten years.

God’s help comes during this period. In what form?

The answer is that it comes with enkindling of love for God.

Initially it is not felt, because it is a gradual process. The person starts yearning for God. The yearning increases. The vehemence of this love becomes an obsession.

How does this love arise? St John explains:

“ in the midst of these aridities…….there is an habitual care and solicitude with respect to God……..which is not a little pleasing to God that the soul should go afflicted and solicitous for His love. This solicitude and care leads the soul into that secret contemplation, until the senses (that is, the sensual part) having in course of time been in some degree purged……by means of the aridities…….this Divine love begins to be enkindled in the spirit”

St John, in his own words:

“…….the yearning for God becomes so great …..that the very bones seem to be dried up by this thirst, and the natural powers to be fading away,……….due to the intensity of the thirst of love, for the soul feels this thirst of love is a living thirst.” However its intensity fluctuates.
To be continued
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1. The life of blessed Henry Suso by himself by Thomas Francis Fox

43. Dark night of the soul, fifth installment

We were talking of the other imperfections of the travelers such as lust and gold. Please read posting 42 first

And there are others temptations and attachments; power, greed, family ties, fame, etc. The reason that they are not mentioned in the imperfections which were discussed in the last installments is that these are weakness of the body, and had already been brought under fair (but not full) control by these beginners.
Otherwise, God would not have selected them for the two purification processes. St John was supervising nuns and monks; the people who had taken vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience. He was dealing with persons who had already forsaken wealth, marriage, family and many other worldly desires.

Here let me disclose a point, based on my own experience and of one other person, and not mentioned in spiritual literature that I have come across, and that is the observation that as one proceeds on spiritual journey (enters second stage )one becomes a better person without any extra effort of one’s own. It is a free gift that he gets. His defects gradually go away or come under good control.

This worthless mote lost most of his desire for money very early, I think during the first year. Next to leave was the desire to have powerful position in life. I soon started saying (vain silly boasting) that if God Himself offers to make me ruler of the world, I would beg Him to excuse me, because I neither want it nor am worthy of such honor . As I remember, next, fame lost its attraction. Lust was never completely gone but lost its hold. Next to last to go was jealousy and it took a long time for control over jealousy. Last was anger, which is still not under fair control, but it is better than before.

Sometimes during this journey one acquires truthfulness and humility. However, it should be noted that imperfections thought to have been conquered, often come back to humble the soul.

I have discussed it with some other travelers, and they verify this observation that one’s character improves. Love of God, drives other loves out.

Now let me describe the first night

First dark night, or purgation of the sensual part of soul.

I had thought that the first night begins with the second stage (when one starts meditation). But if one reads carefully what St John has written, it appears to start during the 3rd stage, after the first glimpse of Reality has already taken place. Part of the disparity lies in the staging systems. Most of the Western mystic literature consider stage I, or start of spiritual journey, the point at which first glimpse of Reality occurs (see Underhill’s classic book on mysticism )(1). I have called it stage 3a. According to their staging, a person suddenly gets contact with Divine current (like Mayorga did) and realizes what a tremendous event has taken place. He or she now wants it again, and so starts the quest of God.

What happens in the first dark night?

The answer is in two words : aridity and trials.

Aridity or dryness occurs during meditation and other spiritual practices. There is no joy, no consolation, no reward, and no sweetness. Whereas before, with spiritual exercises they used to get pleasure, now they don’t. On the contrary the practices result in blandness or even bitterness. The reason is that these beginners were indulging in self-love and were following their inclinations (gratification of their senses); God wants to lead them away from it.

To be continued
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1. Mysticism by Evelyn Underhill

42.Dark night of the soul, fourth installment

We were talking of spiritual gluttony

In Saint’s own words:

"These persons are most imperfect and unreasonable; for they set body penance over obedience, (which is penance according to reason and discretion)…….”

“For some of them kill themselves with penances, and others weaken themselves with fasts, by performing more than their frailty can bear”…… “... Avoiding their superiors whom they should obey.”

“But such one-sided penance is no more than penance of beasts, to which they are attracted, exactly like beasts, by the desires and pleasures which they find, therein. Inasmuch as all extremes are vicious………………….., they are acquiring spiritual gluttony and pride in this way, through not walking in obedience.”

“……better way is that of humble resignation...”

“They strive with every nerve to obtain some kind of sensible sweetness and pleasure……..and when they don’t receive it, they think they have accomplished nothing at all. This is to judge God very unworthily” The reason is that invisible part of grace, which does not come through senses, is better than the visible part, which comes through senses. Thus, their behavior denotes impurity of faith in God, which is a grave imperfection.

“But God, very justly, wisely and lovingly, denies it (pleasure) to them, for otherwise this spiritual gluttony ….would breed innumerable evils”

“…….they are very weak and remiss in journeying the hard road of Cross….” For they want pleasure, while that road is devoid of pleasure and consists of self-denial.

“They have many other imperfections. ……in time the Lord heals them, by means of temptations, aridities, and other trials, all of which are part of the dark night”

The last two defects ( 6th and 7th) are spiritual envy and spiritual laziness. If others outperform them, they are envious of them. They may dislike others being praised, may even dispute the praise, or may argue that they should be similarly praised. Whereas correct attitude should be one of holy envy: grief at not having the virtues of others, yet also joy that others have them, and strive to be like them.

These beginners may be so used to sweetness in spiritual acts, that the things that do not give pleasure tire them quickly. For instance if prayers do not give them satisfaction, they may abandon them. Thus due to this laziness they may give up the way to perfection.

In a similar vein, if they are ordered to do something which does not give them pleasure, it irritates them. They are in for sweetness, not for fortitude in denial of sweetness.

The seven imperfections of the soul are not the only imperfections in these beginners, there are others, but these are the most important root defects, others arise from them.

You may wonder why the other more grave weaknesses, from which most if not all humanity suffers, are not mentioned here. For instance, Sri Ramakrishna, one of the greatest mystic of all times, railed against the two cardinal temptations of lust and gold, which are not mentioned here



To be continued

41.Dark night of the soul, third installment

We were talking of spiritual greed. Please read posting 40 first for better understanding

Saint John warns:
“For true devotion must issue from the heart, and consists in the truth and substance alone of what is represented by spiritual things; all the rest is affection and attachment…”

Compared with some others, who;
“……make good progress, attach themselves to no visible instruments, nor desire to know more than is necessary; for they set their eyes only in being right with God, and please Him”

Third defect is spiritual luxury. There may arise in them impure acts and motions, while they are engaged in spiritual exercises. These acts arise in sensual part of the soul, and may arise when the soul is in deep meditation. Both acts may be proceeding simultaneously; meditation on God satisfying the spiritual aspect, impure thoughts pleasing the sensual aspect. The aspirants have no control over their impure thoughts and are powerless to prevent them. They may visualize, most vividly, foul and impure actions. There are at least three reasons, cited by the saint, which are the cause of this distress. For the sake of brevity I will not discuss the causes.

Some aspirants are so weak and excitable that any spiritual reward, during prayer or penance, overwhelms them. They become inebriated with joy. Their senses are overly satisfied. They may later realize that certain inappropriate acts have taken place. All this is vain gratification and not good for the soul. Anger and grief raise similar exaggerated emotions in them.

Some other souls develop spiritual friendship with others, but its basis may be related to their sensual nature. A test of such spiritual luxury is that as the sensual love increases, the love with God decreases, and as the love for God rises, the other love falls. The two loves are contrary to each other.

Fourth defect is the sin of anger. These seekers have been deriving joy and consolation with spiritual practices. When they no longer derive any consolations from spiritual things they become bitter and angry. They become irritated over little things. They become like children whose favorite toy has been taken from them. Others may have difficulty in tolerating them. It is natural to be saddened by the deprivation of joy with spiritual practices, but it is not correct to indulge in it.

Some travelers have another kind of anger. They become angry with imperfections in others.

Another group recognizes their problem, but become vexed and irritated by it. They lose their patience. This is contrary to what is required; patience and meekness. They should strive hard to remove their faults, but still wait patiently for God’s grace to fall on them and remove their defects.

Fifth shortcoming is spiritual gluttony. These persons are never satisfied by what they have, they want more and more. They are most unreasonable. It appears that St John, as director of souls, encountered several of them. He has a lot to say about them

These souls used to derive great pleasure from spiritual exercise, now they don’t. They go to extremes to get these joys. Spirit of patience and moderation leaves them.

To be continued

40.Dark night of the soul, second installment

We were talking of the imperfections of those souls who are about to enter the first dark night.

The defects, which the saint examines one by one, are the seven capital sins, which result in one of many imperfections in these beginners.

The souls, once selected by God, enter the first night. The pool from which these souls are selected are those that show an interest in God, meditate about spirituality, are already contemplative, and have been discussed in the first stage (postings 33-34).

Once they have c0mmitted themselves to the service for God, they are tenderly nurtured by God, just as a mother, takes care of a newborn baby. When the baby is hungry and cries, mother readily gives the baby nourishment. She rushes to alleviate his distress. She sings to the baby lullabies, gives him warmth from her bosom, caresses him, and changes his diapers. So far, these beginners were like babies. They were given spiritual nourishment readily. Sometimes for whole night they were given joys and bliss. Grace of God gave them pleasures in all things pertaining to God, free, without their own efforts. Even hardships such as fasts and penances were joyful.

As they enter into the purification process, things change. No more milk and honey. They have to give up baby food and learn to eat food with crust. They have to stand on their feet, and learn to walk. They have to endure falls and pain. Mother puts aloe over her breasts to give it a bitter taste. She lets the baby cry, without picking him up.

The first of the seven deadly sins is pride. Aspirants may develop secrete pride over their efforts and hardships, and be proud of the fervor in their hearts. There may develop a desire in them, which is vain desire, to talk about spiritual things in front of others. They want to be esteemed by others. They don’t like others being praised.

To increase their pride the devil may increase their enthusiasm to perform more of such actions which are a source of their pride, such as penances, fasts and prayers. Thus their virtues start turning into vices. Instead of being humble, which is a necessary requirement for spiritual travelers, (because God likes humility and dislikes pride and arrogance) they become proud. They like to teach others instead of learning from others.

Some of them realize their imperfection. They become angry and impatient with themselves, which is another fault. The correct attitude being meekness, , patience , loving fear of God, thinking little of their efforts , ascribing their virtues to God’s grace and not to their actions, holy envy of others, (whom, they think, are far better than them ) , and begging Him to remove their defects.

Second defect is spiritual greed. These seekers are not content with the spirituality that God gave them. They become dejected and irritable. They think that some other practice or some other article may be the answer to their troubles. Thus, to find the answer, they are forever reading books or listening to counsels. They may become strangely attached to crosses, images and rosaries. Leaving one, picking up another. They are like children with trinkets. Thus, instead of developing inner poverty of spirit, by mortifications, they use outer crutches.


To be continued.

39.Dark night of the soul, first installment

There are not one but two dark nights of the soul. The term ‘dark night of the soul’ was coined by St John of the Cross (widely quoted from; see sidebar; ‘dark night of the soul’), a 16th century Discalced (shoeless) Carmelite Spanish monk. He supervised (director of souls) the spiritual training of dozens or hundreds of monks/nuns, and, therefore, had extensive experience with the problems and pitfalls faced by spiritual travelers. The term “dark night” is used to denote purification process.

Thus, the saint tells us, that there are two purification processes. The first is an active process; the second is a passive process. The first is performed by the seeker; the second is performed by God Himself, without any participation of the seeker. The first process is for purification of the sensual part of one’s soul. The second deals with purification of the spiritual aspect of one’s soul, although further improvements of the sensual side of one’s nature also takes place, because the root cause of some sensual defects resides in the spirit.

Second purification process follows the first. The first night is bitter and terrible; the second is bitterer and more terrible.

As I mentioned previously (35. Stages in spiritual development) not everybody goes through these purification processes. Although, the saint describes it in Christian mystics, similar processes probably occur in seekers of other faiths also.

I think, persons who are pure to begin with do not need any further purification. This is further supported by statement by St John in his book that the duration and the harshness of the nights depend upon the amount of imperfection the soul has.

The purpose of these nights is to remove the defects from the sensual and spiritual aspects of one’s soul and make it ready for Divine union with God. The union with God cannot take place unless the soul is perfect, even one imperfection will hinder the Divine union.

St John compares the purification process to the burning of a log of wood. The log has to burn in fire, its impurities such as mould, dirt, rot and moisture have to be burnt and removed, an extremely painful process for the log, for it to assume the properties of fire and become like fire.

Not every aspirant is selected for the first night. Not every aspirant who has completed the first night is selected to go to the second night. Not everybody who travels the second night climbs to the 10th and final step of the secret ladder (according to St Thomas and St Bernard) of progressive love for God. Such honor is reserved for very few souls. It entails complete assimilation into God. Person leaves the flesh after the nineth step.

Imperfections: Those who travel the first night have several imperfections and three enemies. The enemies, who constantly put obstacles in traveler’s path, are the world, the devil and the flesh. At the end of this purification process the traveler has to achieve control over two main forces, and those are grouped under the heading of passions and desires.

To be continued

38.Stages of spiritual development ( sixth installment) afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest

We were talking of sorrow and suffering in spiritual journey

Sorrow and depression are something different from suffering. For spiritual travelers sadness is mostly due to aridity or lack of spiritual progress. Ah! Aridity. We will discuss it when we discuss the two dark nights of the soul. It should be noted, though, that this spiritual depression , is different from clinical depression, in two important aspects: one , that it is directly related to spiritual progress, or meditation sessions; two, that it is readily, sometimes in the twinkling of an eye, reversible, which is never the case with clinical depression. One is hilariously happy for hours, days or weeks after a great session or spiritual event.

The difference in stage 2a and 2b is arbitrary. It just reflects greater depth of meditation in 2b. But it is still second stage. One may get so absorbed in meditation that one forgets his surroundings and time. One may experience the phenomena (posting 33) which come with great concentration of mind on one point, or by silencing of thoughts. St Teresa is the only saint that I know, who experienced all of them (a to f) and described them. I will narrate them sometimes in the future.

However, it is not necessary to enter into stage 2b before 3rd stage. If God’s grace is with him/her, he/she may get the contact with Divine current (stage 3) straight from 2a, as Nancy Mayorga did. She had contact with the great spiritual current, on the first day she sat for meditation according to Patanjali’s method.

Contact with the Divine current, or entry into the third stage, is one of the most important events, if not the most important event, in one’s life. It is reassuring. It is affirmation of the correctness of one’s doing. It is awesome, stupendous, beyond words, that God Almighty, Master of the universe, has paid attention to you, responded to you. You----who is so insignificant compared to the vastness of the limitless universe. It reaffirms your beliefs, which were so far theoretical, that there is a God, who though remote , is approachable, and kind, and compassionate, to have responded to an infinitely small particle like you. You and Him are a like mote caught in the sunlight pouring through a window and the great sun himself.

How does it feel when first contact takes place?

"I did not always believe in God……….…….And one day when my soul was open and receptive, it was charged through and through by something shocking, galvanic, almost frighteningly vibrant, was suddenly flooded, irradiated by something inexplicable and beautiful and altogether overwhelming..…….But to cover the impressive magnitude of my soul’s experience, I found only one word----God. It was wrung from my lips and I said it loud, “God!” “ I was at once grabbed, swept upwards, completely out of myself, farther than I could have imagined in my life, beyond space, beyond time, into an unlocated , timeless, inexpressible bliss”

(See sidebar: 'hunger of the soul')

Now, everybody is not lucky like her. Here is what Mayorga noted:

" Yesterday I learned that after thirty-five years of spiritual practice , the most faithful devotee I know has not been with one such contact as came to me, unsought, at the first try…….then I wanted to cry ----out of pity and admiration, too. I don’t know whether I would have that kind of patience and perseverance”

( see sidebar; 'hunger of the soul' )

But we are jumping ahead. We still have to cross the two terrible dark nights of the soul, which will be discussed now

To be continued

37.Stages of spiritual development (fifth installment)afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest

For continuity, please read posting 36 first

We were talking of stages. Whole of second stage and third stage is like this. Up and down. Your sessions are not good. There is no progress. You feel restless and depressed. Nothing gives pleasure. Separation from God is killing you. You want to be united with God, even if it means death. One day dam bursts; there are torrents of rain (tears). Words are wrung from your mouth; "I want to be with You”. You feel calm. Inner turmoil ceases for a while. Contentment leads to sessions that lack bliss. This leads to restlessness. Inner turmoil worsens into despair, sadness and anguish. The fuel for another rain gathers mass. And lo! It rains. The whole cycle repeats with great regularity.

Progress in spiritual journey is never smooth. There are always mountains and valleys, except at the end, in the fourth stage, when great peace comes. All mystics have noted it. St John of Cross gives two frightening spiritual reasons for it, which I will describe later, in the dark night of the soul.

Let me quote from St Teresa of Avila, one of the greatest saints of all times, what Lord Himself had to say about it:

"Once He told me, by way of consolation, not to worry----and He said it very lovingly------for in this life we could not always be in the same condition. Sometimes I should be fervent and at other times not; sometimes I should be restless and at other times……tranquil. But I was to hope in Him and not to be afraid.”

(See sidebar; 'the life of Teresa of Jesus')

There is a difference between suffering and sorrow. One can suffer and be happy. Athletes torture their bodies in preparation. Students study hard till late at night and deprive themselves of sleep. They suffer but are content in their suffering.

In fact this is often the case for spiritual travelers. The more they suffer, happier they become. Body suffers but the soul is happy. What is the reason for that?

The reason is that the person is suffering for the sake of God and that makes the person happy. He may be in pain, or paralyzed, or hungry, or shivering with cold, but he has brought these discomforts upon himself by giving up everything for God. Money would have bought him medicine for his disease, clothes would have protected him from cold, and food would have assuaged his hunger.

Again, listen to St Teresa:

"….to know how much we are gaining by suffering for His sake! But we cannot properly understand this until we have given up everything; for, if there is a single thing to which a man clings, it is a sign that he sets some value upon it, it will naturally distress him to give it up, and so everything will be imperfection and loss”

Those who serve God are like "…. Soldiers who in order to win booty and grow rich upon it, are spoiling for war, realizing that without fighting they can never become rich at all”
( See sidebar; 'the life of Teresa of Jesus')

To be continued.

36.Stages of spiritual development (fourth installment)afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest

We were talking about the value of praying to God

When life is too hard, either people become angry and sullen with God and banish Him from their thoughts, or they invite Him in their lives and become religious. Religion gives them strength to bear the misfortunes, for three reasons: First, because they may think that it is God’s will. And religion teaches unquestioned surrender to God. Secondly, they may think that there may be hidden benefit in the present calamity. Who are they to question God’s wisdom? He knows better. Thirdly, if they are not rewarded here, then God’s justice makes it absolutely certain that they will be rewarded in the next life. And, through these trials, there may be improvement in the better part of one’s nature.

As I mentioned previously (posting 16), there are spiritual reasons for these ordeals. Let me reiterate Brother Lawrence’s explanation:

What is the purpose of the dark night of soul? Why does God, often, put the seekers through these terrible ordeals? Brother Lawrence gives two answers to it. His first answer, in his own words, is, "…that it is normal for His divine providence to abandon us to all sort of trials, miseries and temptations". The second purpose of these tribulations is to purify the soul


(See sidebar; 'the practice of the presence of God')


We will have a lot to say about this purification process, when we discuss the two dark nights of the soul

The man who coined the phrase 'dark night of the soul', St John of the Cross', had the following to say about the purpose of suffering in spiritual journey:

“…..For the road of suffering is more secure and even more profitable than that of fruition and action, first, because in suffering the strength of God is added to that of man…….; second, because in suffering the soul continues to practice and acquire the virtues and become purer, wiser and more cautious.”

(See sidebar; ‘dark night of the soul’)





This mote can provide one more reason, from his own experience, as to how suffering helps in spiritual journey. When heart is heavy with sorrow. When one is depressed, whether the reasons are worldly or spiritual, one goes in his daily session with God. Sometimes words are not spoken, but one still pours out one’s heart to God. Sometimes tears flow. And you know what happens. If the anguish is great, and one is lucky, God’s grace falls on that person, and he/she feels the presence of God. This is a great consolation. Often depression goes away. One feels uplifted. He /she advances in spirituality .

I will go so far as to say, that for some seekers, like me, who follow the path of love for God (in contradistinction to the path of knowledge), depression is necessary for spiritual journey. Depression, restlessness and discontentment are the fuel that light the fire of spiritual fervor. It is like pouring petroleum over burning wood. I almost never get a great session when I am contented.

To be continued.

35. Stages in spiritual development (third installment) afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest

We were talking of the first day of the second stage. For purposes of clarity, it would be better if you read posting 34 first.

This is the start of the journey. Stage 1 was flying here and there; stage 2 is flying in a fixed direction. The road is unimaginably difficult. One reaches the depths of despair. Many times one cries out loud, “Oh! My God why do you make it so difficult?” “ Why don’t you ever help me”? “God, please, have mercy on me.”

If the yearning for God is real, one never gives up. As I mentioned earlier, thought of quitting never enters one’s mind (25. Why do they travel)? There are great sorrows. As one progresses, over the years, great joys also occur. As Mayorga writes (Hunger of the soul. See sidebar ) about the life of Thomas Merton:

“Mystics, it seems, suffer greatly all their lives, more than other men. But they have joys far greater than other men”


I had previously thought that misery and sorrow are inevitable in spiritual journey, but that is not always the case. I know of a fellow traveler who has lead a happy and contented half a century of life (except troubled childhood and early manhood). Swami Yogananda, author of famous book (see sidebar, “Autobiography of a yogi”) did not seem to have encountered grave sorrows or anguishes, and he appeared to achieve the pinnacle of spiritual growth. These two may be the exceptions, because they were perhaps pure to begin with.

Why is suffering necessary? Because one calls upon God in suffering. One is unlikely to call on God for help when one is happy, and contented. We reviewed average person’s life in posting 33. There is hardly any place for God. On the other hand, one cries for help to God, from the depth of one’s soul, when all avenues of help are exhausted, and there is pitch darkness everywhere. Relief is impossible. There is only one Entity in the universe that can make impossible, possible. So one appeals to Him.

Why does God answer to some prayers?

Because He starts paying attention to you. Your prayer has crossed some barrier, by dint of your sincerity, and reached Him.

In order for God to intervene in one’s affairs, God has to be invited in one’s life. One has to ask Him to help, to intervene. Normally, He is aloof to human affairs. Whatever happens is the result of the law of cause and effect. He may help or He may not help. We do not know His criteria. But we do know that sometimes prayers are answered, and miracles happen. I personally know three instances, where God’s help was sought, and it came, miraculously, but not supernaturally, through human instruments. Therefore I believe without an iota of doubt, in personal God. I will narrate them sometimes in future.

It is also true, that God responds in His own way, which may not be what we had in mind, and we may not like it, and it may be too slow.

To be continued

34. Stages in spiritual development (second installment) afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest

We were discussing an average person’s life. For clarity, you may want to read previous posting, 33, first

Soon, both men and women, start a family. All of one’s energy, is spent on earning a living, and taking care of the family. Sexual desires occupy most of one’s time during adolescence and early manhood. Other desires, later, enter into the picture. Ambition becomes a driving force in the life of most persons; to have more money, to have more amenities of life (house, car, etc), to succeed in job, to acquire position of power, to have fame. You get the picture

In Western society, situation is not much different, although ambitions may be different and priorities may be different, but the desires are almost completely worldly.

Where is the time for God?

Once the desires are fulfilled, or the person ceases to care for them, usually in forties or fifties, some of us reflect on the drama of one’s life. What was this all about? Was this all there was to life? Was I born only for this?

Some individuals try to find answers. They turn to religion and philosophy. If the answers supplied by religious dogma and rational thinking, do not satisfy them, their search leads them to the only other untapped source of answers; the infinitely extending spiritual current. But how to contact this current? This leads to the paths, which I have discussed earlier (postings 26-31). They enter into the second stage.

As I have already mentioned (8. Why do they travel? ), not all seekers come this way. Please read that posting again. Preselected persons are a separate category. Three alive travelers, that I personally know, entered due to three different motives. One person, wanted the answers to eternal questions, second, wanted to attain supernatural powers, to satisfy his ego, and the third was devotional by nature and often visited holy places and persons. Nancy Mayorga wanted to expand her consciousness,and to learn the meaning of life (see sidebar, "hunger of the soul”)

I know of a young man who came upon a book ('My India', by Jim Corbett). The book was about episodes in the life of the author, who is famous for books on hunting tigers. But this book was not about hunting. The author narrated his own good deeds, and noble acts of other persons. That book had a profound effect on the young man; he wept for hours, and wanted to become like Corbett. That book was read by a dozen other persons, but had no affect on anybody else.

I narrate the incident to make a point; some have the receptor in them, others don’t.

Second and third stages. These are the stages of actual pursuit of one’s aim of God-realization, by taking concrete, practical steps. Not everyone in the first stage enters the second stage. Directions are given either by a teacher, who has traversed this path, or the person takes the matters in his own hands, and starts meditation or mental chanting, after consulting spiritual books.

It is said that a teacher is necessary. The teacher points you to the proper path and keeps you at the right path. However many famous mystics realized God on their own. I think, they must be born with mind attuned towards God. They did not need any help from others.

It is also mentioned in spiritual literature that if you do not have a teacher, but want to reach God, God Himself will initiate you.


The first day, the person sits in meditation or marakba, is a historical day. If he/she has the two requisite qualities of patience and perseverance, without which nobody can succeed in spiritual quest, his/her life changes forever. The changes are irreversible. He/she will never be the same person again.

To be continued

33. Stages in spiritual Journey (first installment) ( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

Here is a simple classification of basic stages, devised by this mote, to simplify the matters in his own mind. Not all the sub stages are mentioned:

Stage 1. Hunger of the soul. Searching

Stage 2 a. practical steps, (such as, meditation, mental chanting of God’s name) to realize God are started. May hear sounds like running water. Bliss, during meditation that does not rise to the level of ecstasy. Waves of kundalini, throbbing at lower forehead.

Stage 2b. During meditation person becomes oblivious to time and space (or may even be to the person)

Stage 3a. God responds. First touch. Glimpses of Divine , first Samadhi ( or trance-like state )

Stage 3b. After first touch, during meditation person experiences any of the following

a. Visions
b. Voices
c., Out of body experiences
d. Waves of ecstasy
e. Prophecy
f. Transport

Stage 4. Person is connected with God all the time, or most of the time

Here are the details:

Stage 1. “The hunger of soul is the first necessity. All else will follow”
By William Law, the British mystic.

Except for preselected persons, this stage may last for a long time. I know of two persons, whose first stage lasted for over fifty-five years. Something is missing in one‘s life. One keeps on asking questions, such as, “What is the purpose of life?”, “is this all there is to life?”

And then there are the eternal questions, which mankind has been asking since time immemorial. “Who created this universe?” “If God created everything, then, who created God, or from where did He come?” “Do we have free will or is everything preordained?” ?” " Why should we be blamed for our actions, when we are merely doing what He makes us do. (Bible: St Paul in Romans 9:19)”.

“ We are merely a product of nature( genes inherited from our parents ) and nurture ( our upbringing )), we had no say in choosing these two processes. Whatever happens, happens, because of interaction between us, environment and sheer chance. How much independence do we really have?”

“Why is there so much suffering in this world?” “Granted, that God is not responsible for the evil and suffering, but why does God allow it to happen?” "Why does God not reveal Himself? Why is He hidden from everybody?” " Why does He not talk to us, help us, guide us…….... so that we can build a better society?”

"Is there life after death?” “Does transmigration of soul takes place?” “If religions are God’s code of laws for human conduct, then, why are there so many religions, which differ from each others? There ought to be just one religion, one set of rules, God's rules.” “Universe is made up of matter and energy. If God did not create the universe, how was it created? Can something be made from sheer nothing, as scientists say? Is it not a ridiculous notion?” “Is God accessible? Or is He outside time, space, form or boundaries?” “Does God answer to prayers?” “Are there any limits to God’s powers?”

“ Is there a purpose to the universe?” “ Is it a grand, gigantic experiment, carried out by God, , involving millions of quadrillions of star systems, incandescent with light and fire, spread over googolplex of miles, harboring countless diverse life forms, spinning like tops and flying like birds, for billions of years? Doesn’t He know the results of the experiment beforehand, or does, even He, needs experimentation to determine whether the outcomes tally with the theories? Or did He, in His own inscrutable way, deliberately choose not to know the results any earlier?”

"Why is there anything. Why is there, simply, nothing.". ( a question asked by Leibniz in 18^th century )"



Another feature, often always present, is that such persons are inordinately attracted to the supernatural, or God / deities/religion. These persons are drawn to the esoteric and mysterious. Another frequent trait is the compassionate nature of these people; misery of less fortunate never fails to touch their heartstrings.

What keeps such persons in first stage, often, for such a long time?

The answer is, two words: “Unfulfilled desires”

Look at an average person’s early life. He/she has to go to school/college and finish education. That is the goal society has established for him/her. For men, in underdeveloped and developing countries, the next overriding concern is to find a job, otherwise, how is the family going to eat? For women, in these countries, it is to get married (parents are ashamed of themselves and looked down upon by society, if they cannot arrange marriage for their daughter).

To be continued

32. Other paths ( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

I hesitate to write about Sufism, because I have no personal experience, and know very little about it. I am writing about it, because, my personal inadequacy notwithstanding, not to mention it, while mentioning all others, would have been a disrespect to such a noble path. It is a well travelled path or rather a highway, on which thousands, if not millions, have travelled and a lot have realized God.

Due to the lack of knowledge about the exact methodology used by the travelers ( most of the books, in this area, are in foreign languages that I do not know, and, I have no desire to be a scholar; I, being a mere lover of God ), I will mainly draw from ‘shahabnama ( see sidebar )’ , which has enough details.

Shahab pursued God, by his own account, for at least forty-eight years (see post 9, preselected ….”). He mentions his reading about the four big and several minor channels of Islamic spirituality ( called tarikat or tasauwuf). He should, then, be an authority on Islamic spirituality. But nothing surprises the reader more than his conclusion, that spirituality is nothing more than a method used to entice people to the dry and tedious, often difficult, routine of the practices of the five basic tenets of Islam, called shariat. For sure, the practices are difficult to do, because they have to be performed continuously.

For instance the daily prayers, called namaz (consisting of thanking and glorifying God and the prophets, and asking God for help), requires washing ( and water may be ice cold ) of parts of body before namaz, clean clothes (without urine ), getting up and leaving a warm bed before dawn, and saying namaz five times daily at certain hours ( a rather long namaz before sleep ). Namaz is mandatory; there is no exemption, even for one namaz (except, in certain conditions, such as, travel, sickness or unfavorable environments) in whole adult life. Another tenet requires one month per year of day-time fast, of food and water. There are three more similarly tough tenets

Therefore, according to Shahab, just as children in kindergarten, are taught through play with seducing toys, so the toys of spirituality are used to entice the seekers towards the true path, the path of shariat. Seekers may experience dazzling lights, mesmerizing sounds, of running streams and rushing ocean-waves, enchanting music, invisible voices, shaking of the body, erection of hair,etc. Seekers may think these occurrences are from God, but they are not. They are just seducing toys. The real purpose of all this is to entice the seeker towards shariat.
How does shariat come into the picture? Because, in order to practice various spiritual disciplines, one must strictly and absolutely follow shariat . So the seeker develops a habit of saying prayers , keeping fasts, etc.

Shariat is supreme. It is the big river which leads to God. Various Islamic spiritual channels are just streams which merge into the river. Without shariat ( or following the tenets of Islam ) spirituality( tarikat) is worthless, even if a practitioner walks over water

It also follows, that if one can follow shariat ( which most Muslims do, especially when they get old), then, there is no need of traveling the path of spirituality. It will be redundant.

Spirtual disciplines are similar to what are used in other religions. Fundamental practice is repetition of God’s name and Quranic phrases ( called zikar ). There are others.

I do not know, if amongst the practitioners of Islamic spirituality, this is the majority view. I hope not. I have heard of several spiritually advanced Muslim persons , who , at least externally, did not follow shariat.

Perhaps Shahab is right that shariat must be strictly followed for anybody to reach God through Islamic spirituality or tarikat but the sublime heights of tarikat (nearness and realization of God) are way loftier than mere following of shariat. There are over a billion Muslims worldwide, millions are strict followers of shariat, ,(they should all be God realized, according to Shahab, as far as I understood him ) but those who are near God are perhaps only a few dozens, and those few went through the furnace of tarikat

The great 11th century Muslim saint, Daata Gunj Bakhash,in his book, states, that his teacher (spiritual guide )lived in caves for sixty years. Living in caves and seclusion from society are the ways of tarikat

31. The easiest path. Sixth instalment ( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

The easiest path, in my mind, is to repeat God’s name, all the time. You can say “God, God, God, God” or “Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah”, or “Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram” or any other name of God. You should try to make a habit of repeating it mentally, without moving the lips, so that nobody else should come to know about it. You should do it at rest, as well as, when you are busy in activity. You should say it when you are awake and when you are asleep.

Initially it is very difficult. You will forget it once you get engaged in some activity. Hours will often pass, before you remember it. Do not lose heart. Keep on trying. It will take years, to have partial success, unless you are spiritually advanced to begin with

Once developed, you will yourself be surprised at the fact, that your mind is automatically repeating God’s name , while you are walking, or doing something in which mind is not engaged. You may be half sleep and realize that your mind is saying “God, God…” on its own. Mental activity, like reading a book, or talking to someone, stops this mental chanting. It may remind you of Brother Lawrence (see Posts, 15-18) and his method, which is very similar.

I have read in a book (the name of the book escapes me, but I think it was biography of Swami Brahmananda, a direct disciple of Sri Ramakrishna) that once a person complained to the Swami of lack of spiritual progress. He gave him a mantra (some holy word/s, with God’s name in it) and told him to repeat it all the time, and he guaranteed him spiritual progress in one year. “Come back in one year, and complain to me, if it does not happen” or words to that effect.

Swami Ramdas (see sidebar, "In quest of God…") was given a mantra by his guru. He left his house, wife, and children and travelled penniless, repeating the mantra all the time. He realized God in few months (although, he did not start from zero, he had been struggling beforehand for years)

Mental chant of God’s name does not guarantee God-realization, but it does guarantee spiritual progress. Why does it happen? Does God’s name have an intrinsic power? Shahab ( Shahabnama, see side bar ) writes, and I quote " How can it be possible, that God’s name should have no effect (power)”.

Swami Ramakrishna gives contradictory answers to this question. On one place, in his biography ( see side bar ), he states that mere repetition of God’s name is ineffective: " How will the mere repetition of ‘Brahma’ profit you if you are not imbued with discrimination and dispassion? It is the empty sound of a conch-shell”
On another occasion he stated : "The name of God has very great sanctity. It may not produce immediate result, but one day it must bear fruit. It is like a seed left on the cornice of a building…..house crumbles… seed falls…..germinates, …..and at last bears fruit”
And, in another place he says: "If a man repeats the name of God, his body, mind, and everything becomes pure.”

30. Types of paths, continued (fifth instalment ).( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

The next path to realize is the path of action. No ordinary action, but selfless, detached, action. The action is to serve others, to help others. Not for any reward. No desire that others should say to you, on your face, or behind your back, that how good a person you are. Not for fame. The great philanthropist Edhi of Pakistan, in his early days, would take care of unclaimed dead bodies in the metropolis of Karachi. He would wash them, wrap them in coffin cloth, dig grave for them, say prayers, and bury them. His actions did not serve or help the dead person, but helped the society. He had compassion even for a dead man, who, in his opinion, deserved a decent burial.

Then, what is in it for you?

Several things. Firstly, it makes you feel good. Secondly, it helps the needy person. Thirdly, it helps society. Fourthly, others may be influenced by your example, and it may start a movement, which may benefit millions. Finally, if the motive behind your action is to please God, Who, in His infinite grace made it possible for you to do that action, and you thank God that He made it happen, then you may even realize God.

You have to understand that basically you do such things, because it makes you feel good. You are not sacrificing anything. Persons like Edhi, St Francis of Assissi, and mother Teresa of Calcutta are different from ordinary persons; they have or had innate, overpowering desire to help others. They are full of compassion. On more than one occasions, St Francis gave his own clothes to the destitute. He would kiss the wounds of lepers. Father Damien of Molokai lived with lepers in leper colony for nineteen years and died from leprosy.

Most, if not all, great mystics believe that God is in you. Therefore, if you serve another person, you are serving God, Who is in that person as well. May be, the great philanthropists I mentioned above, thought like that.

Gita, the Hindu scripture, advises us not to desire for the fruits of action, because then we will constantly worry about the results. This will feed into anxiety, attachment, and anger (if the results do not go our way). This humble mote, still at a lower plane, wants his actions to have good results.

What are the dangers of this path?

There are three problems: Firstly, it inflates the ego. Vanity is a great peril, even for advanced aspirants. One may start thinking that he is doing all these good things, whereas, the correct attitude should be that he/she is just a machine, God is the driver. Secondly, the person starts thinking that he is such a nice person. He starts doing good deeds, so that others may think highly of him. Thirdly, too much activity may lead into too little time for God. You may forget God. Construction of schools and hospitals, is good, but one may be treading on razor’s edge.

Sri Ramakrishna said, that you should pray, “O God, make my worldly duties fewer and fewer………I find that I forget Thee when I am involved in too many worldly activities. I may think I am doing unselfish work, but it turns out to be selfish.”

A final note. It is said that the path of action also leads to love for God

29. Types of paths, continued ( fourth installment ).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

There are three practical points about the technique which, in my opinion, are quite important.

1. To practice meditation, you can sit in a comfortable chair. You do not have to assume lotus, or semi-lotus position. Lotus position has its advantages, but if you or old, or your joints are stiff, or you get pain, do not worry, just sit in a comfortable chair. Fully relaxed. No part of body should be under stress, otherwise, soon the position will become unbearable, and you will have pain. When you start, ask yourself this question; 'can I maintain this position for one or two hours?’

2. Back should be straight. Ideally it should not be supported by the chair. Too comfortable a chair will lead to sleep.

Why should the spine be straight? Because, after some practice, waves start moving up and down the spine. These are, so called, waves of kundalini or serpent power (see sidebar, "living with…”). Straight spine expedites the development and propagation of these waves. According to Sri Ramakrishna, the development of these waves is an essential precursor to enlightenment.

You can read about kundalini and different centers of body, called chakras, in books about yoga. I do not know enough about them (and do not care, because I follow the path of love for God), but erect spine, and the next instruction, does help.


3. Look slightly towards the center of the eyebrows, as if you have a squint, with eyes closed. After a while you will get throbbing or some other sensation at that point. Now you can stop looking at that point and just concentrate at that point. The new sensation will help you to concentrate at that point. This is, initially, a difficult practice, and an un-natural one, for the eyeballs, because both eyes are turned inwards (normally when one eye moves inwards, the other moves outwards). It produces strain on the eye muscles. One gets pain in the eyes, one falls sleep, and so on. But keep on doing it. It took this nothingness years to learn it. It helps in enhancement of floating or swinging sensation. If you cannot look towards the center, at least concentrate at that point.

I was always intrigued by this injunction, despite the fact, that Sri Yukteswar, the great guru of Swami Yogananda , had said somewhere, that you do not have to develop squint, while meditation ( or words to that effect ).

The reason I was intrigued was the fact, that Sri Ramakrishna, went into nirbikalpa Samadhi when he concentrated upon the center of eyebrows, at the instruction of Totapuri (see 22, fourth installment)

I, recently read, in Gita (see footnote), the most important of all Hindu scriptures, the following ( 8 :10):

"………………..with your mind completely stilled and your concentration fixed in the center of spiritual awareness between the eyebrows, you will realize the supreme Lord”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
The Bhagvad Gita, translated by Eknath Easwaran

28. Types of paths, continued (Third installment).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

The path of wisdom or knowledge is extremely difficult. The spiritual aspirant tries to understand the majesty of God. During this process, he falls in love with God. He learns the purpose of the creation. He gets the answers to questions which have perplexed humanity for centuries.

This is a dry path. In the end, the path of wisdom and the path of love meet. In other words, an aspirant who realizes God through knowledge gets love for God, and an aspirant who loves God, now, also understands God and gets knowledge and wisdom.
Lord Buddha succeeded in realizing God through this path. Paul Brunton appeared to have followed this path. He has written several books, especially for Western audience, and has given practical details (see footnote) His guru, Maharishee Ramana, realized God, through this path, without any teacher.

I do not practice this path; therefore, I cannot give you the practical details. I tried to follow this path, initially, but failed, due to inability to stay awake during meditation. The theory behind this path is, as follows:

The aim is to realize one’s own self. This Self is hidden in the innermost recesses of one’s mind. To reach this Self, is extremely difficult, because one has to quieten one’s mind. One’s mind is constantly active and spinning thoughts. Except in deep, dreamless sleep, it is always active. Its nature is to be always active and make thoughts. Therefore, to stop one’s thoughts, in order for Self to emerge, is extremely difficult, and requires years of constant practice.

Why should one want to realize one’s inner Self? What good will that do? Is there any hidden, vast, mysterious, wisdom or knowledge present in that, so called, Self, which, the person himself, is not aware of? Is it reasonable to assume such a strange proposition? In other words, why should there be such hidden knowledge? Where did it come from? Why should this knowledge be different than the knowledge one accumulates, throughout one’s life, by learning through one‘s senses, since, one’s first breath in this world?

The answer to all these questions is, yes, yes, yes. The reason one wants to know one’s Self is, that the Self is akin (or made in the image of) to the Supreme Self (or God), which is present everywhere, both inside and outside us. In simple terms, God is within us.

There is no proof of it. It just is. To borrow an example from Aldous Huxley, “by looking at water there is nothing to suggest that it is made of two gases, but we just accept it as the truth. Under rigorous experimental conditions, water splits into hydrogen and oxygen”
(in, The perennial philosophy by Aldous Huxley )

Similarly, the great Masters have told us that after years of practice of meditation, aimed at focusing the mind on Self, one can silence one’s thoughts. If this state, which has aptly been named as ‘alert passivity’ is sustained for some time, a sort of vacuum is created in the mind. A practitioner of this art, Sudhei Babu, in Brunton’s book (see sidebar, ".........India" ) said; "…….God……..the soul, the higher power, shall I say, enters and fills that vacuum.”

Knowing one’s self was considered as important, in ancient times, in far-away ancient Greece, as in India and Far East. One of the two sayings of Oracle of Delphi (mentioned by Homer, in eighth century B.C ) was ‘Know Thyself’


………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
1. The secret path by Paul Brunton
2. The perennial philosophy by Aldous Huxley

27. Types of paths, continued, (Second installment).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

If love for God is essential for success (in the path of love for God), a logical question arises, how to get love for God?

The answer is that some get it free, as a gift from God (as this unworthy mote got it), others have to cultivate it. A devotee asked this question: "how can I develop love for God?” Sri Ramakrishna replied, "Repeat His name…..” The devotee asked the next question, “How can I take delight in God’s name?”

He replied: "pray to God with a yearning heart that you may take delight in His name.”

The essence of his reply is to pray to God to grant the person love for Him. Prayer is a mortal’s last resort

It is also mentioned by sages, that to develop longing for spirituality one must seek the company of holy men. If it is not possible to have the company of holy men, then spiritual books are a substitute. This mote has been guided and consoled by books. I was initially made aware of the world of spirituality by a book, “shahabnama” (see sidebar). I had absolutely no belief in the existence of life after death, but my views changed after reading that book. I was comforted for almost a whole year by “pilgrim of stars” (see sidebar). If book could speak, it would have testified to my anguish. Several other books, listed in sidebar, held a light, and showed me the path, in the dark night.

I cannot, ever, repay the debt I owe to these authors. Their voices, guided me, sometimes across centuries ( Brother Lawrence over three centuries, St Teresa of Avila, over five centuries, and Daata Gunj Bakhash over ten centuries). The diary entries of Nancy Mayorga, her ecstasies and her sorrows , stirred the depths of my soul.

The journeys of Paul Brunton, in foreign lands, in search of truth, and ultimately finding it, are full of suspense. They leave an indelible impression. Love for God is palpable, and drips from every page of ‘Confessions’ by St Augustine, written, sixteen centuries ago. One feels, that one is not alone, countless seekers have gone before him, and some have left their footprints in the sands of time, to guide us, to sustain us, and to comfort us. They wrote these books, not for personal aggrandizement, but to help others and to glorify God

And sometimes, some holy souls, even come back from other worlds, from where no one comes, at God’s orders, to comfort an aspirant in distress, and wipe his/her tears (see the entry 3. 'The dream', and entry 14, St Therese). I quote entry 3, because it was told to me by the person himself.

God has everything. We cannot give him anything which he does not have. He does not need anything. However, there is one thing, which we can give, and He will like our gift, and that is our love for Him. Our love, without asking for anything in return. Even He, who has everything, likes it. He is drawn by a devotee’s love. Read again the entry, 17. Brother Lawrence….

"….I eat and drink at the Lord’s Table.” In another letter he writes: "….this King, full of goodness and mercy, lovingly embraces me, seats me at His table, waits on me Himself, gives me the keys to His treasures, and treats me in all things His favorite; He converses with me and takes delight in me in countless ways….This is what I see from time to time while in His holy presence.”

To be continued

26. Types of paths (To God), First installment .....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

There are countless paths to God. Imagine God as a lamp, suspended in air, and each ray being emitted from it, a path. One could reach the lamp, from any point in space, by traversing the nearest ray, back to the lamp. Sri Ramakrishna used to say “As many faiths, so many paths”

However, there are three standard paths. The path of love, the path of wisdom, and the path of action, conveniently remembered as the three ‘h’s’, the heart, the head and the hand.

The path of love is considered the easiest path, but it is said to be slower than the others. It does not require anything else as a pre- requisite, except the love for God. But it is no ordinary love. It has to be intense yearning for God. It should be a complete obsession. There is a story to illustrate it. Once a disciple asked his teacher about the longing for God that is needed for God –realization. The teacher took the disciple to a river, and immersed his head under water. The disciple panted and struggled. When he reached near drowning, the guru took him out. “How did you feel?” the guru asked. “I thought I was going to die”. “That is how you should feel about God”

Is love of God enough for God-realization? The answer is that I do not know. I am not a God-realized person to answer it with certainty. On one hand I know that the love of God, once developed, never goes away, but is it enough? It only assures that the person will continue pursuing his objective, till death. But God-realization is not in the hands of the seeker. Ultimately it is God’s decision to give him, His Grace. The grace of God is absolutely necessary to realize God. Does God, always reward a person who has pursued Him with single-mindedness? It is often said, that God never allows one’s efforts to go waste, and always rewards one’s efforts. But what is the reward in this case? Full or only partial God-realization? Does anybody really know the mind of God?

On the other hand the person may still have significant attachment to the world (for instance, family, wealth, name, fame, ego, craving for power, etc). God –realization only occurs when one’s heart is empty of all other attachments, and exclusively loves God.

Another factor to consider is that how much time is available to the person to attain his objective. Although, he may be making reasonable progress, he may die before he has reached his destination. According to Hindu philosophy, one has multiple lives. In his next life, such a person will start from the point he had reached in his previous life. But, other religions do not believe in multiple lives.
How much average time is needed to realize God? This question was asked by Brunton to Maharishee Ramana (see the sidebar, “A search in secret India"). The saint replied that there was no ‘average’. It depended upon the seeker’s mind; gunpowder lights up in a flash, whereas considerable time is needed to kindle a fire from wet wood

Whatever path one is following, two traits are a necessity for success; patience and perseverance. Progress is often slow and imperceptible. The seeker is unable to discern the progress, just as an ant climbing a hill does not know her progress. Therefore, patience is taxed to the limit. Perseverance is not at all a problem for true lovers, as I mentioned previously (25. Why do they travel, continued), they just cannot abandon.
To be continued

25. Why do they travel, continued ( second installment )).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

I did not do enough justice, in my first installment, to the question , that what in the first place,brings the seekers, to travel on the path of God-reaization (Post 8,Sep. 6. 08.) The answer is simple and brief, that they have hunger in their souls. I plan to discuss the hunger in greater detail, when I discuss the stages of this journey, in some future date. At this time, just remember, that whether, they are preselected, or come on their own, to start on the search of God , they must have a feeling of something missing in their life. As William Law, an 18th century British mystic said:

”The hunger of the soul is the first necessity. All else will follow.”

The Post on Sep, 6 ended with these two questions:

Do all of them travel on the same path or are there different paths?
What keeps them on the path, despite all the hardships that were mentioned previously? (6. the greatest hurdle. Aug, 30).

I will answer the second question first, because it is very brief. Why do they stay on the path, and keep travelling, despite the horrendous hardships that were mentioned on Aug, 30. The answer is that they are incapable of giving up. It is beyond their powers. They cannot abandon the pursuit of God-realization even if they wanted to.

I am only talking of the path of finding God through loving Him. I do not know of other paths. And I am only talking of true lovers of God. There are people who think that their journey on this path is for the love for God only, but it may not be strictly true. They may be in it for base motives, such as, to have name and fame or to have power. They may even have a noble motive, such as to help others. For instance, to attain supernatural powers in order to heal the sick or help the poor. They themselves may not be aware that their love is not pure. The person mentioned in Aug, 14 started on this path to attain supernatural powers, and to help others. Actually, he was doing it to satisfy his ego, but his mind was fooling him into believing that he was doing it for altruistic purposes.

Just as a ripe fruit cannot become unripe again, or a child once grown into an adult, cannot become child again, so is the person who has once developed love for God, he cannot undo or abandon his love. That is the difference between Ishaq-a-majazi ( love with anything except God )and Ishaq-a-haqiqi ( love with God). Love with material things, or creatures may end, but love with God is irreversible and never ends.

Shahab ( see sidebar) said the same thing, and the examples of fruit and child are from his book. This humble mote can attest to the truth of this statement from personal experience. Over the years of this travel, sometimes this writer would lose all hope ( occasionally, still do ). Lack of progress, and lack of response or help from God, threw everything in doubt. In despair, even the thought of ending the life has entered the head. But one thought never entered the mind, never even for one second, and that is to relinquish this journey.

As you know, the journey never ends. Even God-realized saints had their falls, because of ego. But there is a difference between the persons who have realized God, and those who are striving to realize God. God-realized persons have no fall ( or if they fall, they rise ) because God Himself protects them. Sri Ramakrishna ( see sidebar )stated in his own words :

" But one need not fear anything if one has received God’s grace. It is rather easy for a child to stumble if he holds his father’s hand; but there can be no such fear if the father holds the child’s hand.”

Swami Ramdas in his book ( see footnote ) narrates a dialogue with an abbot in Switzerland in which he expresses the same sentiments; "……… He assures you that He will never allow you to fall…."

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1. World of God, by Swami Ramdas

24. Sri Ramakrishna, continued ( sixth installment ).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

All sort of visitors started turning up to his residence. They belonged to all creeds and sects. They were rich , middle class , or poor. Some were educated with college degrees, some were religious scholars, and some were illiterate. Some held important government positions and some were beggars. Virtuous women, as well as prostitutes, would come . He taught all of them from his encyclopedic knowledge and his incomparable personal experiences . Everybody was touched with his sincerity. Sometimes, he would speak twenty out of twenty-four hours. He would sing devotional songs, listen to hymns, dance, weep in ecstasy, worship, meditate, chant holy names, and sleep little.

He attracted young , inquisitive, idealistic, school and college students. SR was a great judge of character. He had the uncanny ability to discern their minds. With extreme care, he prepared future monks, and made Narindra ( future Swami Vivekananda )their leader. Fifteen disciples, all except one, were young men or boys. They renounced the world soon after his death, in 1886. This is a testament to their idealism and his poweful influence, even after death. He was fifty year old at the time of his death.

He did not perform any miracles, but several supernatural events have been recorded and well corroborated. For instance, Narendra ( Swami Vivekananda, his chief disciple ), narrated the account of his early visits to the Master (SR). On his second visit, he touched Narendra, and Narendra felt overwhelmed. ........walls whirling….. He cried in terror:”What are you doing to me…?” With a laugh, Master easily restored him. On his third visit, he narrates, ” in Jadu Mallick’s garden house , the Master one day touched me, and muttered something to himself. I became unconscious. The effect of the touch lingered in me for a month, like an intoxication.”

He had the ability to awaken spirituality, in others, by mere touch, or sometimes, even by just a glance. He had trained his mind so much against gold and lust, that he could not touch coins, or have intimate relationship with women. He regarded all women as mothers. He once said “I have never enjoyed a woman, even, in my dreams”.

He got married, but the marriage was never consummated, despite the fact, that he and his wife shared the same cot for eight months. His wife was trained by him, in spirituality, and became a great mystic in her own right. To test the fact that Master could not hold gold, Narendra, once hid a coin under his mattress. When Master sat on it, he developed sharp pain, as if he was stung by a scorpion.

Ramakrishna centers are all over the world!

The book listed in sidebar is the translation of the diary of Mr M (headmaster of a high school in Calcutta), a very close householder disciple of SR, who recorded the events, and wrote down Master’s words, with great fidelity.

What was his main message? Love God!

I conclude this narrative by giving you a taste of the fire burning in the Master. Here are the words of the Master, uttered, on October 11, 1884. He expressed such sentiments almost daily:

“I prayed to the Divine Mother:’ O Mother, I don’t want name or fame. I don’t want the eight occult powers………………O Mother I have no desire for creature comforts. Please grant me the boon that I may have pure love for Thy Lotus Feet.’” Then he addressed Ishan ( a devotee ), who was holding his feet:

“Be mad! Be mad with love of God! Let world know that Ishan has gone mad and cannot perform worldly duties any more………”

23 Sri Ramakrishna, continued (fifth installment).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

Now SR wanted to be in nirvikalpa samadhi , all the time, and who would blame him. After the departure of Totapuri, nobody was there to distract him,SR went into nirvipalkpa Samadhi and stayed continuously in that state for six months. In his own words:” I was in that state for six months from which ordinary mortals never return: because for the body of one attaining to that state lives for twenty-one days only, and then the body falls like a dry leaf from tree.”……….Flies would enter his mouth and nostrils , like they do in a dead body.

A holy man took care of him during that time. To feed him ,he would arouse him by beating him with a stick. Then he became sick from dysentery. Constant abdominal pain brought his mind down to earth.

After his recovery, an inner calmness returned to him. He appeared normal and sought the company of holy men and scholars. He acquired great knowledge by listening to learned people. He did not and could not read books.

He had acquired closeness to God during Samadhi. He realized that since God is only one, other religions must believe the same God, though, through different names. He wanted to explore other religions. He practiced Islam under a Muslim guru, Govinda Roy, and, in 1866, realized God through Islam. He wanted to learn Christianity. In 1874, he began listening to the teaching of Bible. Soon he had a spiritual experience through a picture of Madonna with Child. Three days later he had the following experience:

He saw a man of fair complexion coming towards him. He knew that he was a foreigner. He saw that his long eyes gave wonderful beauty to his serene face. Tip of his nose was flat. He wondered who he was. A voice rang in his soul; " Behold Jesus Christ! The great Yogi, the loving Son of God, one with the Father, who gave his heart’s blood……to deliver man from sorrow and misery". Then Jesus embraced him and merged in him. Years later, he told his disciples, that the nose of Jesus, that he met, was not aquiline.

SR used to say," Let each man follow his own path. If he sincerely and ardently wishes to know God,…….he will surely realize Him."

His fame spread. When a lamp is lit, moths come, uninvited. People started to visit him. Articles about him appeared in the Calcutta press. Visitors would be struck by his holiness, his simple life style, his love for God, his profound spirituality, his encyclopedic knowledge of Hindu religion, and his samadhis. Many learned people declared him 'an incarnation of God’, just as Brahmini had done years ago.

Long time ago, he had come to know, through his supernatural powers, that one day he will have his own disciples. In his own word ," …. I would climb to the roof of the kuthi (house) in the garden, and writhing with anguish of heart, cry at the top of my voice ’ come my children! Oh where are you all’…”

To be continued

22. Sri Ramakrishna (SR) , continued ( fourth installment )......( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

.He had to give up his sacred thread and the tuft of hair on his head. To avoid hurting the feeling of his mother, it was done in private. He performed the preliminary ceremonies.

Totapuri built a sacred fire on the auspicious day. Totapuri and SR sat before it. He sang the holy and profound mantras. Both performed the holy rites. SR took the vow of utter renunciation for God, a vow that has come unbroken from guru to disciple, from the beginning of time. His desire for enjoyment, here and hereafter, was the last to be burnt in that fire. SR received the ochre robe and loincloth from his guru (spiritual teacher). Totapuri began to teach:

"Brahman is the only Reality, ever pure, ever illumined, and ever free, beyond the limits of time, space or causation. Though apparently endowed with names and forms, through the inscrutable power of maya (illusion, created by Brahman), ……………, Brahman is really one and undivided……………………………."

Totapuri, then, asked SR to withdraw his mind inwards, and concentrate on the Absolute/Atman ; (Atman is the Self or Soul. According to Advaita Vedanta philosophy the Supreme Soul is one with the individual soul )

But the task was not easy even for SR. He found it impossible to take his mind beyond Kali, the Divine Mother. In his own words: " But in spite of all my attempts, I could not altogether cross the realm of name and form………I had no trouble in taking my mind from all the objects of the world. But the radiant and all too familiar figure of Blissful Mother would appear. She stood in my way. I said to Nangta (the naked one. Totapuri would often not wear his loincloth)’ it is hopeless’………".

How was this difficulty overcome?

"Totapuri cast his eyes around. Finding a piece of glass he took it up and stuck it between my eyebrows. 'Concentrate the mind on the point!' he thundered!

"I again sat to meditate. ……….this time I clove Her in two with the sword of discrimination. The last barrier fell. My spirit at once soared beyond the relative plane. I lost myself in Samadhi"

SR remained completely absorbed in Nirbikalpa Samadhi ( see footnote on 19 )for three days! Totapuri would come and go, and every time would find SR , motionless, like a statue.

"Is it true," Totapuri cried in astonishment." That he achieved in one day, what it took me forty years to attain?"

Totapuri , who never stayed in a place for more than three days, stayed in Dakshineswar for eleven month. During his stay, even he discovered a profound, new truth, about the mysteries of Absolute and its relationship with Kali. For fear of digression, this mote, will not discuss the lesson which Totapuri was taught by God.

To be continued.

21.Sri Ramakrishna (SR), continued (third installment ) ......( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

Sometimes during that time period, Mathur, the rich proprietor of the temple complex at Dakshineswar, had a vision. SR was pacing up and down the verandah, absorbed in a spiritual mood. Unknown to him, Mathur was watching from his mansion. Suddenly, Mathur came running from his mansion, bowed, clasped the feet of this poor, insignificant, temple priest, and started weeping. When he became collected, he told:” Father, as you came forward walking in this direction, I saw you distinctly as my Mother installed and worshipped in the temple, and immediately you turned about in the opposite direction, I saw you as Mahadeva Himself( Lord Siva, see footnote to previous post ). I thought first it was an optical illusion. I rubbed my eyes well and looked, but saw the same thing.”

He had no teacher (Guru) during the first four years of his Sadhana(spirtual practices ), his mind became his teacher. He had repeated visions of a young man,looking like him, coming out of his body, and instructing him.


Then two teachers appeared on the scene. First in 1861, a woman renunciant, called Brahmani. She stayed with him for six years, and taught him all the disciplines prescribed in the sixty-four main Tantras ( a system of Hindu religious philosophy, which allows worshipping of Goddess Kali, one of several forms of Divine Mother ). All these practices are difficult to accomplish. "In trying to practice which, most of the aspirants go astray. But I got through them by the Mother’s grace.” He got eight miraculous powers, as a result of those practices,but he never used them ( because such powers are often a hindrance to God-Realization)

In 1864, a tall, fearless, wandering monk, who never stayed in a place for more than three days ( to avoid attachment with a place ), arrived at the Kali temple at Dakshineswar, where SR was a priest. He practiced a different system of Hindu philosophy, called Advaita Vedanta. This system is different than Tantra, which SR had been perfecting under the guidance of Brahmini. In this system only God is real, everything else is illusion. Thus, world was an illusion, and so were the gods and goddesses ( such as Mother Kali, whom SR worshipped). Prayers, rites, rituals, ceremonies were meaningless to him. He had realized Absolute (God or Brahman) after forty years of all-renouncing austerities. He spent most of his leisure time in meditation.

Totapuri had a glance at young SR, and was struck by something in his face. He studied SR carefully. He realized, that there was a fit aspirant, who could be taught Vedanta. Then he asked SR, whether he would like to learn the mysteries of Vedanta. SR, said that he has to consult his mother. After consulting with Mother ( instead of his real mother, he went into the temple and talked to the image of Kali, the Divine Mother), he agreed. As a precondition to learn Vedanta, SR had to become a Sanyasi (give up the world).

To be continued

20. Sri Ramakrishna (SR), continued ( second installment)......( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

Talking about his Sadhana days, he said:" …..I had no sleep at all for six long years. The eyes lost the power of winking….. I had no idea of the passing of the time and was not at all conscious of the body. I stood before a mirror and put a finger into my eyes to see whether the eyelids close, they did not. ……I became alarmed and wept complaining to the Mother. " Mother, is this the result of calling on Thee……..Thou have given this terrible disease to this body? Do reveal thyself to me….” (God is practiced as Mother, in those parts of India)

An intense longing for God drove him. He was not mad but helpless. Anguish in his heart ( because he was separated from God , whom he worshipped as Mother) transcended his power of endurance. Flood of tears would flow from his eyes at the time of worship; his wonderful joy on hearing songs praising the glory of Divine.

To see the Mother became an obsession with him.

He himself described his first vision of Mother;"I felt as if my heart were being squeezed like a wet towel…..I could not bear the separation from Her any longer. Life seemed to be not worth living. Suddenly my glance fell on the sword that was kept in the Mother’s temple, and I determined to put an end to my life. I jumped up like a mad man and seized it, when suddenly the blessed Mother revealed Herself. The building with the different parts, the temple, and everything else vanished from my sight…..….I saw a limitless, infinite, effulgent Ocean of Consciousness. As far as the eye could see, the shining billows were rushing at me from all sides with a terrific noise…”

He collapsed unconscious. Within him was a flow of undiluted bliss, altogether new, and he felt the presence of Divine Mother.

Soon he started seeing Holy Mother, both in meditation and, with eyes open.
His spiritual moods deepened. He would meditate, pray, weep, be sleepless, and have ecstatic moods. He would have burning sensation in the body. He would be indifferent to the outside world and his body. To root out the idea of caste superiority (he being a brahmin, the highest caste) he cleaned, at night, the dirty places, of an untouchable’s house with his long and neglected hair. When he would sit in meditation, birds would perch on his head and shoulder, to peck in his hair for grains of food. Snakes would crawl over his motionless body.

To be continued

19.Sri Ramakrishna (SR) (first installment ) ......( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

In this writer’s opinion, Sri Ramakrishna (SR) was the greatest mystic of nineteenth century (widely quoted from two books. See sidebar; The gospel of SR......., and footnote 1), and one of the greatest, of all times (prophets or messengers of God are higher than mystics or saints). I base my opinion on one fact, and that is the effect of love for God on the person. When divine mood would come on SR, which came frequently, he would visibly reel, like a drunk, or go in Samadhi (see footnote). In the words of one of his direct disciples:” ….under the overpowering feeling of that intoxication he reeled so much that he had to take hold of one of us…” To my knowledge, only St Teresa of Avila, showed similar effects (with spiritual hurricane, she would even be lifted from ground in the air)

His father made a pilgrimage to Gaya to visit the temple of Lord Vishnu. At Gaya he had a dream in which Lord Vishnu came in his dream and told him that He would be born as his son. At about the same time SR’s mother, who had not gone on pilgrimage with her husband, had a vision in front of the Siva temple, that she will have a divine child.

When he was six or seven years of age, one day, while he was walking on the balk of a corn field, and eating rice from a basket, he happened to look at a beautiful black rain cloud. A flock of milk-white cranes flew by, with the black rain cloud in the background. The young boy was mesmerized by the beauty of the scene. In his own words,” it looked so beautiful that I became absorbed in an extraordinary mood. ……my external consciousness was lost. I fell down and the rice that I was eating scattered near the balk. ……..That was the first time I lost consciousness in ecstasy.”

The Sadhana (spiritual practices carried out by a seeker in order to realizes God) of SR are a legend. The period lasted for about 12 years (1856 to1867). He almost died. During that time he was considered mad by ordinary people. He could not keep his loin-cloth many a times and would be wandering stark naked. He would take concrete steps to conquer, what he perceived as defects, in his character. For instance to remove his attachment to money, he will take a rupee ( the coin used in India ) and a clod of earth, and throw them both in the river Ganges, as if both were equal, and equally useless to him. To conquer lust, he will consider and address every woman as mother. He would eat from the leftovers of food-remnants from leaves (leaves were used as plate by the poor). To conquer pride and egoism, he cleaned like a sweeper the abominably dirty places with his own hands. He remained unfed or poorly fed for 12 long years.

To be continued.
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1. Sri Ramakrishna, the great master by Swami Saradananda

2. Samadhi. Super conscious state. Trance. A state of God-union. Person becomes oblivious of the surrounding and his body appears rigid and lifeless. There are various forms of Samadhi. The initial stage is called Sabikalpa Samadhi. The highest form is called nirbikalpa Samadhi , which is the closest a mortal can be with God

3. .One of the trinity of Godhead; Brahma, Vishnu, Siva (or Shiva), whose universal work is, respectively, creation, preservation, and destruction.

18. Maxims of Brother Lawrence......( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

I have already mentioned the importance of love, faith and hope in the spiritual journey of Brother Lawrence. He declares that God is in him (he does not go so far as to say that He is in everybody and everything, as many other mystics have said, or I might have missed it). In his own words:”…makes him so certain that God is in the depth of his soul, that he has no doubt about it…”

Whenever he needed help, he would ask God for help. In his own words:”…he receives constant help in every situation. "…for God never fails to come to our aid", as he often experienced. He had recently been asked to go to Burgandy to get the wine supply, a painful task for him. Not only did he lack skill in these matters, but his leg was crippled and he could only get about on the boat by dragging himself over the barrels. Yet he did not worry …….He told God "it was His problem.”

God liked his conservation with Him. So much so that if he missed talking to God, He will remind him! Here is what he says; "If occasionally he becomes too forgetful of this divine presence, God makes Himself known immediately in his soul to call him back to Himself…”. "…inner movements so charming and delightful that I am embarrassed to talk about them, call me immediately back to Him.”

Brother Lawrence reminds us that such close companionship with God requires extreme detachment. He states:”….Your heart must be empty of everything because God desires to possess it exclusively.” He has to "empty it of everything other than Himself”
If suffering is too much for you to bear. Be steadfast. Help will eventually come. "…If you do not give up, and that He will give you, all at once, what He held off giving for years.”

Wandering of thoughts is a problem that everybody faces. The saint also warns us;"….thoughts spoil everything; we must be careful to reject them as soon as we notice them…” In a letter to a nun he offers a solution; ” An easy way to keep the mind from wandering during the time of mental prayer is to keep it as still as possible----not to let it take flight-----during the day…”

If you are a true seeker of God and love Him, you need not worry, God Himself will help you .In his words,”…..God gives the necessary light to those who have the true desire to be with Him….”

"Neither finesse nor learning is required to approach God, only a heart resolved to devote itself exclusively to Him, and to love Him alone”

"…that he thought neither of death, nor of his sins, nor of paradise, nor of hell, but only of doing little things for the love of God, since he was not capable of doing great things.”

17. Brother Lawrence continued ( third instalment ) . ......( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

How did he arrive at this unique method? In his own words:

"……..We must let go…………multitude of private devotions, very good in themselves…..” ……..”For these devotions are nothing more than the means to arrive the end. If, then, we are with the One who is our End by this practice of the presence of God, it is certainly useless to return to the means”

How successful was he?

Brother Lawrence was probably at the highest level of spiritual perfection. At that stage the person is connected to God all the time. Such persons are very rare. He himself stated, "I know that few people reach this advanced state. It is a grace God bestows only on few chosen souls… "Most people end up at the less advanced stage",.... ‘which greatly resembles the advanced stage…’

In a letter he states "….I eat and drink at the Lord’s Table.” In another letter he writes: "….this King, full of goodness and mercy, lovingly embraces me, seats me at His table, waits on me Himself, gives me the keys to His treasures, and treats me in all things His favorite; He converses with me and takes delight in me in countless ways….This is what I see from time to time while in His holy presence.”

He greatly extolled the virtues of faith, hope and love, all his life, especially faith. He describes faith as " Believing that God is truly in our hearts, that He sees everything that happens and will happen in us and in all other creatures; that He is independent of everything….”….”All our thought, words and actions belong by right to him "( since everything belongs to Him ). " one must entrust oneself in God’s hands. (A "total, universal surrender”)... One must have trust in God as a son/daughter has in his/her parents.

He had sciatic gout, which caused him pain and limping. He suffered from pain, which increased over years, for about twenty-five years. At his deathbed the friars(monks) asked him " if God asked you to suffer these pains for the duration of ten years would you still be content?” "I would be,” he said, ” not only for that number of years but I would willingly consent to endure them until the Day of Judgment….”
On Friday, he told a friar, that he will die on following Monday. And that is when he died.
More of Brother Lawrence in next installment

16. Brother Lawrence continued. (Second instalment).....( afnta, afnta-questforallah, Allah, God, love for God, quest)

The cause of his anguish and misery during the dark night of soul was that he thought that he was not doing enough for God. He had set too high a standard for himself. In his own words:

"The fear that I had not given myself to God as I desired, my sins always present before my eyes, and the great graces God gave me were the sum and substance of all my miseries.”
His biographer, who had frequent contacts with him over a period of thirty-five years states: "….in this deplorable state he often went to a private place…..his heart distraught, and completely bathed in his tears, he poured out his feelings before his God…..”

What ended this turmoil? In his own words:

"Once I accepted the fact I might spend the rest of my life in this troubled state of mind…I found myself changed all at once. And my soul, until that time always in turmoil, now experienced a profound inner peace…”

What is the purpose of the dark night of soul? Why does God, often, put the seekers through these terrible ordeals? Brother Lawrence gives two answers to it. His first answer, in his own words, is,”…that it is normal for His divine providence to abandon us to all sort of trials, miseries and temptations.”The second purpose of these tribulations is to purify the soul

For rest of his life (approximately forty years), he would be ‘enjoying continual inner consolations. sometimes so intense, that he would be forced to do childish things to conceal them’ . '….nothing worried or frightened him ‘. He told his friends that God let nothing go without immediately rewarding him a hundredfold, often giving him such exquisite experiences and tastes of His divinity that they sometimes overwhelmed him , making him say … "It is too much, Lord, it is too much for me!…”

Is this method (of constant conversation) easy? In my humble opinion, no. The greatest problem is the control of one’s thoughts, which is very very difficult. I have tried it. Thoughts keep on wandering. Sometimes hours will pass before you remember to think of God. Brother Lawrence himself admits, "The beginning is very difficult”.

And what do you talk to God about, a layman may ask? Won’t you soon run out of things to say? In reality, this difficulty is only theoretical. Actually, you hardly talk, but you bring your attention back to God, and adore Him, constantly, humbly, and joyfully. You may doubt my statement, but it is true. The reason that you are able to do so, quite easily, is that you are in love with God. Love for God is the gasoline that drives this automobile. Without love for God in your heart, you cannot travel the path of God-realization. Not by this method (there are other paths in which love for God may not be essential).

To be continued in next installment.