Sunday, January 13, 2013


56.  Iqbals’ praise of God

Iqbal was a great poet. He was a mystic and lover of God. Here are
 some of his verses. The originals are in Urdu.  I have attempted to
translate them, and changed them a little where I could not find a
proper word. They have lost much in my inadequate translation.

 

1.

There are no boundaries or limits to Your power

If You so desire

Desert sand will blossom in flower

2.

Who nourishes the tiny seed in the darkness of land

Oceans and rivers change into clouds by whose hand

Who brings  the wind and the rain

Who tells the seasons to change

Who fills the golden sheaths with the pearls of wheat

Who created the earth’s soil

Who ordered the sun to boil

3.

His gleam is seen in sun and lightning

In gold, mercury and showers

Wilderness belongs to Him

Tumbleweed belongs to Him

Thorns belong to him

And so do flowers
 
you tube address :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AmdjT-v6HY

you can also see the videos by
----go to You Tube.com
----Then type mkadk or mkadk.afnta


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, January 11, 2013


55.  Seperation from You

 

 

 

 Separation from You

 is the cause of my pain

You are silent and hidden

and somewhere far

I have no peace, my soul is at war

 

 

Kindle the candle of Thy light

And watch the drama of sheer delight

Mad with joy, ready for death

Mkadk arrives

In the candle he dives

He dives in the flame

Your flame, Your flame

Again and again

Again and again

 

He looses his wings

And falls in the fire

As he falls in the flame

He utters Your name

 

Blazing heat burns his body

Your majesty it shows

Like embers it glows

 

Melting snow sets in motion

Journey of the drop towards ocean

As it merges with the ocean

It becomes ocean

 

Oh God, this is my great desire

To burn in Your love

And become fire
 
 
 

 
note. like the previous blog it will be posted on You tube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azZpCvYXt6M&feature=youtu.be

you can also see the videos by
----go to You Tube.com
----Then type mkadk or mkadk.afnta

 

 

 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


 

 

54. One sided conversation with God

 


Oh God, dear God

Please stop, please stop

And listen to me

Please listen to me

 

 

I spent my life away from You

I spent my youth and adulthood away from You

I am ashamed, I am sorry

But what is the use

What is done cannot be undone

Time does not come back

Oh God I am ashamed, I am sorry

 

 
I was caught in the web of life

My heart was full of desires

I followed them with every breath

Like the shadow follows the body

All living things avoid pain and seek pleasure

I was no different

I followed the supreme law


 

Where was the time for You

Even if I remembered You

It was more of a ritual, a habit

Thoughts never left the world

 

 

Now that old age has come

Drama of life is going to be over

Now I think of You

 

 

I want to say something, oh God

Don’t be angry

Don’t consider me insolent

I want to tell You my side

 

 

I am a product of nature and nurture

I got my nature from my parents

Half the genes from my mother

And half from my father

I was nurtured at where I was born

And where I grew up

 

 

Neither in nature nor in nurture

I had any say

Nobody asked me my wishes

Where do you want to be born

Where do you want to be raised

Who should be your parents

 

 

Oh God whatever I am

Circumstances made me so

You made me so

Everything originates from You

 

 

 

This is not an excuse for my shortcomings

Decisions were mine, responsibility is mine

This is not a complaint

This is not an indictment of you

I know I am a tiny part

Of a huge system

Whose laws were set by You

At the beginning of time

And can never be changed



You fixed the speed of light
You made air essential to life
You made atoms small and large
You decreed the electron's charge

 
 

These are just pathos

These are just pathos

For lost time

The time I wasted

For things that could have been

I could have been closer to You

This thought is like a dagger in my heart

 

 

Oh God

Whatever life is left

Please

Draw mkadk closer to You

Please

Draw mkadk nearer to You

Oh god, dear God

Oh God, dear God

 

 
Note. I have a pathetic version of abovewitten in my voice as a song-like thing, but the blog does not have the means to put it here
I have put it on You Tube
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8aftPTI0W4&feature=youtu.be

you can also see the videos by
----go to You Tube.com
----Then type mkadk or mkadk.afnta

 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

53.Autopublishing of all blogs



I had decided not to write any more after the  last blog posted on 5.3.2009. I have mentioned the reasons in the " introduction" of my book. The book is simply a collection of all the blog on this site.

              Here is the title page, some other entries, and the introduction of the book
            


                                


MKADK’s  Journey towards Allah



Part One















Collection of Blog at:






Author:  MKADK


                     Price: Free
                      














                                            Dedicated  To

                                                      MB

                                   Who Sustained Me In This Effort

                   

                                                  




                                                           INTRODUCTION

Here is a partial collection of my blog:
              The purpose of writing the blog was to express my feelings and , like St. Therese of Lisieux, tell the world about the goodness of God  (blog no. 13) , a fact not appreciated in the miseries of the world.  I have recently become personally aware of a definitive proof of God’s kindness towards humanity.
              I stopped writing my blog because I did not think that the thoughts of this mote were important enough for the world to know them.  A speck and its thoughts! Did not achieve any spiritual success.  That shows my worthiness.Furthermore, nobody was reading the blog.
              On December 13, 1999, when I took the first practical step in the search for Allah, I did not even know the direction . I did not believe in any religion. Except that unbearable, painful , love that burnt in my heart , there was no external light (similar to St. John of the Cross, although he had the beliefs and organization, while I had none ).  There was no guide.  I was shown the way by books of mystics.  I learned the direction and path through reading these books and appealing to God for help.  The books which particularly helped me have been alphabetically named in a list .
              Initially I was sure that my Master, Himself, will help me so I need not worry about anything.  My thought was that if a person tries to reach Allah and during that effort does not care for the enticements of this world, then surely, God must be appreciative of his dedication and will help him; show him the way.
              But now, after twelve and a half years, this hypothesis has seriously been damaged. Apparently God has not helped one bit (see Brother Lawrence’s experience, blog 15) If He provided help, in secret, that may be a different matter.  I am off course, unaware of it.  Maybe after a few more years, if my desires get fulfilled, this theory  may be restored. Or, it may be God’s desire, that all travelers must come, completely, of their own free will,  their own volition and not due to any compulsion or thought of reward. Just because they love Him. The searcher must face all the difficulties himself, with patience and perseverance.  If God were to keep on helping him in his trials and tribulations to reach Him, then it will be a bit like if I give money to some one to praise me – what good will be such praise? As a matter of fact, now I think  the immense impediments of this travel are one absolutely necessary component of it.  The second component is love for God.  A love, which does not demand anything in return.  Not a hint of expectation  of any reward from God (I am only talking about the ‘path of love’.  I do not profess to know of other paths).  Therefore ,  in this particular path, one should not request anything from God because it smells of compensation and wages.  It denotes lack of contentment with what God has given you and unhappiness with His decision.  As St. John of the Cross would say “This is not the way of the cross”.
              How much road has been travelled?  I do not know. Those milestones which mystics have mentioned have not yet come.
              Therefore, probably, despite daily meditation ( except a period of illness), it is still the beginning.  My brother asked a great mystic (Qalandar) about me.  He replied: “ I came in this area as a young man, fifty-fiftyfive years have passed.”.   Then the mystic was silent.  
               That ‘great adept’ lived in a cave on a hill.  This was his answer, meaning, it is a lifelong effort. 
              Then he suddenly said “He has a Hindu friend who is a good man, a pious man, a man near to Allah”.  The great mystic was 6-7 thousand miles away from my Hindu friend.  How did he know about my friend?  Only he knew this secret . Though, my friend, in my opinion,is near God.  He used to go into Smadhi, ( trance like state ) once or twice daily for 10-20 minutes, during which he would be lost in thought of God, oblivious to time and space.  During some the smadhis, his hands would start smelling of sandalwood, a scent associated with Lord Krishna. Mention of God’s name often brought tears to his eyes.  Very few people knew this aspect of his life (see blog 5).  He had never met or heard of the ‘great  Muslim adept”.
              For searchers of God, love for God is very important. Such people go to great lengths to acquire this gift . I was given this boon, free, from the very first day of the  quest.  I am utterly and completely grateful to God for giving it to me.
              I have never had a spiritual experience. But if I do not mention two blessings, it will be tantamount to ungratefulness.  First, is the bliss during a part of the meditation.  This blissfulness is due to the imagined presence of God.  One’s senses are necessary to develop and maintain this thought.  Therefore I do not want to lose my senses and become oblivious like some yogis and durveshes do.
              Secondly, after some time, thoughts start focusing on God.  They do wander but not for long.  Magnet of God pulls them towards Himself, as if, they were tied to an elastic band.
                                                          Journey continues… …........A journey without end and an unknown destination. Therefore all seekers continue to be travelers, some ahead and some behind. This road has milestones,rest areas,ups and downs (as told to Shahab by his hidden and anonymous mentor).

MKADK
November 15, 2011, Rewritten on July 19, 2012




















“ Purity of love for God often requires anonymity unless there are other overriding concerns or the  person becomes mad (majzoob or Must Qalander)”
















Sunday, May 3, 2009

52. Visions, second installment

Unlike the previous example in posting 51, this next example is of a vision, by a holy person, while he was awake, walking, instead of being asleep. It is taken from a book (1) which is considered a classic in spiritual literature.

The writer of this book was an anonymous Russian peasant of the nineteenth century, who was a homeless wanderer. I quote his introduction of himself:

“By the grace of God I am a Christian man, by my actions a great sinner, and by calling a homeless wanderer of the humblest birth who roams from place to place. My worldly goods are a knapsack and some dried bread in it, and a Bible in my breast pocket. And that is all”

He recited, in his heart, Jesus Prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me”) incessantly. During his wandering he met a blind beggar who had also been saying Jesus Prayer, constantly, for a long time. But unlike him, his tongue would move, so that an onlooker could suspect that he was reciting something in his heart. He taught the blind beggar how to say the Prayer while picturing his heart, and synchronizing it with breathing. In about five days the blind beggar learnt it.

“…..He began to feel in his heart delightful warmth as well as a joy beyond words and a longing for incessant prayer which stirred up in him the love for Jesus Christ. At certain time he saw light, though he could not discern objects. At other times, it seemed to him, when he entered the region of the heart, as though the flame of a burning candle flared up brightly in his bosom and rushing outwards through his throat, filled him with light. And in this light he could see distant events, as it happened on one occasion when we were going through the forest. He was silent, wholly absorbed in the Prayer. “What a pity” he cried all of a sudden. “The church is on fire and the tower just collapsed.”

“Stop imagining things” I said to him “this is a temptation to you__nothing but idle fancies which must be put aside. How can anybody see what is happening in the city? It is still twelve versts away.”
“When we came to the city I saw few burnt houses and the fallen belfry……….. As I figured it out, the catastrophe had occurred at exactly the time when the blind man had told me about it”

Please note the interpretation of the event by this semi-literate pilgrim, and his warning to his friend:

“…..guard yourself from believing that your visions are a direct revelation of grace. They may occur frequently in a perfect natural order of things………….I have learnt from my departed elder that even people who are not given to prayer, but who are endowed with that kind of power or acquire it in sickness, can see in the darkest room the light flowing from every object and can perceive things in that light. They can even see their own doubles and enter into the thoughts of other people. However, in contrast, all that comes directly from the grace of God ……is filled with such sweetness and delight that no tongue can describe it, nor can it be compared with anything in the material world. For anything sensual is inferior when compared with the sweet realization of the grace in the heart.”

To be continued

_________________________________________________________________________________
(1) The way of a pilgrim. Translated by Nina A. Toumanova

Sunday, April 26, 2009

51. Visions, first installment

Spiritual literature is full of accounts of visions and voices, while the mystic is awake or sleeping. Let me first discuss the visions. There is no hierarchy in their occurrence and neither does one denote greater depth (of spirituality) than the other. It is just that some seekers see visions, while others hear voices and vice versa. However, if one has a vision of a person and the person talks to him also, while awake, it denotes a high level of spiritual growth.

Let me narrate some reliable examples. Here is an example of a vision, which is non-spiritual (worldly), the person who had the vision may or may not be holy (may be just a psychic), and the narrator is a worldly, materialistic, non superstitious, Westerner. There is an era of authenticity in the account.

Corbett, a famous hunter, worked as station master, close to river Ganges, in Indian Railways. Corbett Park in India is named after him. In his book ‘My India' he writes the following account from which I have chosen some excerpts:

“One afternoon, I met one of these special trains, which was conveying the Prime Minister of Nepal, his Secretary, and a large retinue of people…………ten days later the party returned and I saw them off.”

“A few days later……my friend, the Secretary, walked into my office. With his clothes dirty and creased, and looking as though they had been slept in for many nights…” “He accepted the chair I offered him and said, without any preamble, that he was in great trouble.

He had lost the suit-case containing the jewels! He was personally responsible for that suit-case.

The secretary said, ‘there is in Nepal a hermit who is credited with second sight….I went to him. I found the hermit, an old man in tattered clothing, living in a cave on the side of a great mountain, and to him I told my troubles……. He asked me to come next morning……. Next day he told me that as he lay asleep the previous night he had a vision. In the vision he had seen the suitcase, with its seals intact, in a corner of a room, hidden under boxes and bags of many kinds. The room was not far from a big river, had only one door leading into it, and this door was facing the east. I obtained permission to leave Nepal for a week and I have come to see if you can help me, for it is possible that the Ganges is the river the hermit saw in his vision’

There were many rooms at Mokameh Ghat in which a miscellaneous assortment of goods was stored, but none of them answered to the description given by the hermit. I did, however, know of one room , in another nearby station, that answered to the description, ….I sent the secretary, with an escort, to that room ( a parcel office ). The suit case was found over there with all its seals intact.” It had been placed in that room by a carriage sweeper, the lowest paid man on the staff.


To be continued

Sunday, April 19, 2009

50. Dark night of the soul, twelfth installment

We were discussing the changes in the person by the end of the first and second night and the mechanism of change.

God speaks to the soul during infused contemplation in a secret way. The soul cannot describe it even if it wanted to: “such a person can only say he is satisfied, tranquil and contented and that he is conscious of the presence of God, and that, as it seems to him, all is going well with him; but he cannot describe the state of his soul, nor can he say anything about it except in general terms”

This secret wisdom is like a ladder, up and down, not in a straight line. The reason is “as the state of perfection which consist in perfect love of God and contempt for the self, cannot exist unless it has these two parts, which are knowledge of God and of oneself…..soul experiences taste of one------that is exaltation-----and then the other----that is humiliation-----until it has acquired perfect habits, and then this ascending and descending will cease……since the soul will have attained God and united with Him”

What should be one’s attitude during this terrible and bitter ordeal? I quote from St John this eloquent passage:

“ Therefore , O spiritual soul, when thou seest thy desire obscured , thy affections arid and constrained, and thy faculties bereft of their capacity for any interior exercise, be not afflicted by this, but rather consider it great happiness, since God is freeing thee from thyself and taking the matter from thy hands.”

Ten steps of the mystic ladder of Divine love, according to St Bernard and St Thomas (taken from ‘dark night of soul' by St John):

First step .Soul loses the desire and taste for everything, like a sick person.

Second step. Soul seeks God without ceasing. It thinks of God, speaks of God. All it cares is about God

Third step. Soul acquires fervor and works for God. Great works are done at this stage

Fourth steps. Soul is in habitual suffering because of the Beloved, yet there is no weariness. This step is very lofty. The love for God is so true that God quite habitually grants it joy and visits it sweetly .

Fifth step. Soul desires and longs impatiently. Every delay is irksome. Soul must see the Beloved. Here men suffer hunger like dogs and go about the city of God

Sixth step. Soul runs swiftly to God and touches Him again and again

Seventh step. Soul becomes vehement in its boldness. Men like this obtain from God whatever they beg

Eighth step. Soul seizes Him and holds Him fast without letting Him go. On this step of union the soul satisfies her desire, but not continuously

Ninth step. Soul burns with sweetness. This step is that of the perfect, who now burns sweetly in God.

Tenth step. This is the last step. Soul is wholly assimilated in God. It goes forth from the flesh. These souls that are few do not go to purgatory, since they have already been wholly purged by love.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

49.Dark night of the soul, eleventh installment

We were discussing the pain and suffering of various mystics during their spiritual journey.

In a letter to her spiritual director, Mother Teresa writes:

“Now Father—since 49-50 this terrible sense of loss---this untold darkness—this loneliness—this continuous longing for God……Darkness is such that I really do not see---neither with my mind nor with my reason. The place of God in my soul is blank; --There is no God in me. When the pain of longing is so great---I just long and long for God…….God does not want me---He is not there………God does not want me.”

(Taken from “Mother Teresa, come be my light”, edited by Kolodiejchuk)

One cannot help being struck by the knowledge and experience of St John regarding the dark night. What he wrote in 16th century, Mother Teresa repeated approximately four hundred years later: he wrote, “The thought that God has abandoned”, she writes ‘God does not want me’. He wrote, “The love for God remains ever strong. The fervor to serve God is undiminished”, she writes ‘I just long and long for God’. He wrote “God turns all this light of theirs into darkness, and shuts against them the door and the source of the sweet spiritual water which they were tasting in God whenever and for as long as they desired”, she means ‘profound interior suffering, lack of sensible consolation, spiritual dryness’.

The great 11th century Muslim saint, Daata Gunj Bakhash, whose shrine in Lahore (Pakistan ) is visited by hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of persons each year, writes about his murshid (teacher), Muhammad bin Hassan Khatli, “he spent sixty years completely isolated in mountain caves. He was unknown. Mostly he lived on a hill called ‘lagaam’.” And he adds, “He wore only one dress for fifty-one years which had multiple haphazard patches.” “I, never in my whole life, met anybody with more imposing bearing.”

“In a city in Khurasaan (now in Iran) called ‘Mlund’ I met a man who was famous. He was a man of great piety. He spent twenty years standing, except in certain portions of namaz (see sidebar) when sitting is compulsory. I (Data Gunj Bakhash), asked him the reason of it. He replied that he has not reached the stage in which he can have the courage to sit while witnessing Reality)

Taken from Kashaf-ul- mahjoob by Daata Gunj Bakhash. Translated by this writer)

Why such thorough purification?

St John explains: “For one single affection remaining in the spirit, or one particular thing to which, actually or habitually, it clings, suffices it to hinder it from …….union with that light and become Divine…” Remember the example of log of wood, which was given earlier. How it has to be burnt with fire to acquire the properties of fire.

How much suffering and pain is necessary. The answer is ‘to each one according to his capacity and need’

Once purification is near completion, the love of God becomes more and more and bursts into flames. The desire of every love is union with the object of love, so in this case soul is impatient for union.




The ten steps of progressive love will soon be described, but before that let me mention the formation of other faculties in the traveller. St John elucidates:
“God’s illumination of the understanding of the seeker, with supernatural light, so that it is no more a human understanding but becomes Divine through union with Divine.”

Similarly, will, memory, affections, desires are all changed and converted divinely, according to God.

All these changes are brought, according to St John, “…illumining and enkindling it divinely with yearning for God alone and naught else whatsoever.”

There are several advantages in suffering: (a) During suffering God’s strength is added to that of man, (b) soul becomes purer, wiser and more cautious, (c) one calls God in suffering , and forgets God during luxury,(d) God pays attention to one’s prayer----soul calling God for help!



To be continued

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

48.Dark night of the soul, tenth installment

We were discussing of the mortification and pain of various mystics during this period.

Sri Ramakrishna in his own words (see, 20. Ramakrishna) “…..I had no sleep at all for six long years. The eyes lost the power of winking….. I had no idea of the passing of the time and was not at all conscious of the body. I stood before a mirror and put a finger into my eyes to see whether the eyelids close, they did not. ……I became alarmed and wept complaining to the Mother. “Mother, is this the result of calling on Thee……..Thou have given this terrible disease to this body? Do reveal thyself to me….”

……….Flies would enter his mouth and nostrils, like they do in a dead body.

I have already quoted Brother Lawrence above, “It seemed to me that creatures, reason, and even God himself were against me…...”

Suso, a 14th century mystic once had a vision. He was told that he is going to have trials. He asked Lord to show him his pains in advance. Lord replied:

“No, it is better that thou know nothing lest thou should hesitate. But amongst the innumerable pains…….I will tell thee three. The first is this. Hitherto it is thou who scourged thyself…..Now; I would take thee from thyself, and cast thee into the hands of strangers who shall scourge thee. Thou shall see the ruin of thy reputation. Thou shall be an object of contempt to blinded men;

The second pain is this…..thou shalt find nought (nothing) but unfaithfulness, great sufferings, and great griefs. Thy trials shall be so many that those men who have any love for thee shall suffer with thee by compassion.

The third pain is this: hitherto thou hast been but a child at the breast, a spoiled child. Thou have been immersed in the divine sweetness like a fish in the sea. Now I will withdraw all this. It is my will that thou shouldst be deprived of it, and that thou suffer from this privation; that thou shouldst be abandoned of God and of man, that thou shouldst be publicly persecuted by the friends of thine enemies…………all thou shalt undertake, that might bring thee joy and consolation, shall come to nothing, and that might make thee suffer and be vexatious to thee shall succeed.”

(Taken from ‘Mysticism’ by Underhill)


This period lasted for 10 years. He had an earlier period of 22 years which consisted of constant mortification and intermittent illumination.

A recent great example of a saint suffering great ‘darkness’ is Mother Teresa of Calcutta. By darkness she meant, “ profound interior suffering, lack of sensible consolation, spiritual dryness, an apparent absence of God from her life, and, at the same time a painful longing for God.”

(Taken from “Mother Teresa, come be my light”, edited by Kolodiejchuk)




To be continued.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
1.Mysticism by Evelyn Underhill
2. The life of blessed Henry Suso by himself by Thomas Francis Fox

Sunday, March 29, 2009

47. Dark night of the soul, ninth installment

We were discussing the detail of the second night

The aridities and the trials are similar to those of the first night. Lack of joy or sweetness with spiritual practices, absence of consolation from God or creatures. Understanding and will become feeble and memory turns fuzzy. There are periods of profound forgetfulness. Soul becomes dispirited and unhappy. Affections turn bitter. Nothing gives comfort. However the love for God remains ever strong. The fervor to serve God is undiminished. He will happily give a thousand lives for God.

Remember, during the first night the greatest source of depression was the thought that God has abandoned him, same is the case this time.

Remember, during the first night the person thought that his miseries will never be over, since he is so unworthy and full of defects, same is the thought this time.


Remember, during the first night one thought that God has shut out his prayers; same is the thought this time.

Remember, during the first night nothing helped, till God Himself decided to end his misery, same is true this time . Let me quote St John here, since it is written so well by him :

“….The soul is so powerless in this case as one who has been imprisoned in a dark dungeon, and is bound hand and foot, and can neither move nor see, nor feel any favor whether from above or from below, until the spirit is humbled, softened and purified, and grows so keen and delicate and pure that it can become one with the spirit of God..”

Remember, during the first night, the dark period was not continuous but there were intervals of great happiness and consolation, so is the case this time.

Remember, during the first night, soul asked itself again and again, if it has caused Him to be offended. So is the case now

Let me furnish some examples of the pain and suffering of Hindu, Christian, Muslim and Buddhist mystics. To avoid exaggeration I have selected only from autobiographies or authentic biographies,

David (in Bible) said, “After the manner wherein the wounded are dead in the sepulchres, being now cast off by Thy hand, so that Thou remembers them no more, even so they have set me in the deepest and lowest lake, in the dark places and in the shadow of death and Thy fury is confirmed upon me and all Thy waves Thou hast brought in upon me.” “….the pains of hell surrounded me; I cried in my tribulation.” “I was annihilated and I knew not”.

An example of mortification by a British Buddhist mystic, Tenzin Palmo’s. She remained, alone, at 13200 feet, in a cave in snowy Himalayas, for twelve years. She slept and meditated in a three feet square box and never lay down, because the box was not long enough. She encountered wild beasts and avalanches.
I have included her here, but it should be noted that she remained joyful and peaceful during her isolation in the cave. She never had dark night of the soul.
(See ‘cave in the snow’ by Vicki Mackenzie)



To be continued

Sunday, March 22, 2009

46. Dark night of the soul, eighth installment

We were talking of the near completion of the first night

The soul has, “the yearning to serve God, which is a thing very pleasing to God”


Although purgation of the first night is complete, still three problems often occur at this stage. First, violent temptations for fornication. There may be vile and graphic scenes which are thrust on imagination. Second, the thoughts of blasphemies. And the third, the scruples that perplex the soul. These trials and temptations are sent by God, to those, who are selected to go to the second night. Their purpose is to keep them (the future travelers) ever on the alert.

As mentioned earlier, not everyone who completes the first night goes to the second night. Why? Only God knows.

There is a waiting period after the completion of the first night to entry into the second night. This period varies. In weaker spirits it may last into years.

Second night. Or purgation of the spiritual and sensual parts of soul.

One would think that the purification is complete after the first, miserable, violent and dark night. The traveler is now at peace. He is in love with God. His impurities have been removed. He is now once again getting sweetness and joy with his spiritual practices, even more than he used to have before he entered in the first dark night of purgation. Now he does not need formal meditation because he remembers God all the time.

Is he ready for union with God?

No, he is not. He still has impurities and deficiencies. He needs further purification. And that is performed during the second night.

The method of purification is the same that was used during the first night; aridities and trials.

There are several differences between this night and the previous night

1. Second night is harsher and more bitter than the first night
2. It is performed by God, without any participation of the soul. That is why it is called “infused contemplation” ( God infuses His boons directly in a secret way)
3. There is variable suspension of faculties during contemplation. There is gradual loss of will, imagination, memory, and understanding. In some states, the soul neither sees nor hears or feels. In deepest states, person is motionless like a dead body (but pulse is present)or statue. These states occur near the end of the second night.


Now the details of the second night.

To start, let us mention the defects in these travelers. First is that now they get spiritual sweetness so easily and so abundantly that they tend to see too much of actual or false visions and feelings (the receiving apparatus has become too sensitive). They may have false prophecies. Some are sent by the devil

The abundance of these benefits may fill them with pride which may become a huge concern because it affects their motives, and that may tarnish the purity of the soul.

The other imperfections are their old habits, which, like old stains on a fabric, come back.




To be continued

Sunday, March 15, 2009

45.Dark night of the soul, seventh installment

How should the person behave during this purification of senses?

You saw that nothing is helpful during this period until Divine help comes. Not reasoning, not meditation, not anxiety, not anger at God. Therefore, one should have patience and loving trust in God. Remember, faith carried Brother Lawrence through his ten years ordeal (see 19. Brother Lawrence). Let me quote:

“It seemed to me that creatures, reason, and even God himself were against me, and that faith alone was on my side.”

One should also continue his practice of prayer.

What are the benefits accrued by the traveler during the first night? At least nine major and several minor.

1. The first major benefit is the knowledge of oneself and how lowly he is. Beforehand one was happy and contented. He becomes miserable and helpless now which causes him to realize his own lowliness. He starts to commune with God with more respect and courtesy.
2. He learns the majesty and greatness of God. He realizes that he cannot do anything without God’s help. The period of aridity has shown him the impotence of his efforts.
Thus God gives the soul knowledge, during this dark and dry period, of his own wretchedness and imperfections and God’s splendor and eminence.
3. His senses (sensual desires) are dampened. This increases his understanding because sensual desires (even for spiritual things) impede understanding of the truth.
4. Spiritual humility replaces spiritual pride.
5. He develops love of other human beings. Beforehand he was exalted and felt better than others. Now he remembers his own misery. He is more tolerant of others and sees good in others.
6. Spiritual greed, spiritual gluttony and spiritual luxury are removed or greatly diminished. Remember these were three of the seven imperfections. The soul is freed from them because it does not get any sweetness and inebriation from his spiritual practices. There are several other imperfections which get better.
7. Lust and desire are quenched. Once they are quenched, tranquility sets in.
8. A great benefit results from loss of desires and passions and ever increasing love for God, and that is the constant remembrance of God. These passions and desires were previously clouding the soul
9. There is another great benefit of this purging, and that is the practicing of several virtues by the soul, such as patience, steadfastness, and equanimity during sorrows.



In short, the above mentioned benefits can be summarized into, constant remembrance of God, purity of soul, peace, and practice of several virtues. He also becomes humble. Humble towards himself, others, and God. On top of all these benefits, God gives him knowledge and sweetness in secret ways which he is unaware of.


In St John’s words:

“these time of aridity then cause the soul to journey in all purity in the love of God, since it is no longer influenced in its actions by the pureness and sweetness of the actions themselves, as perchance it was when he experienced sweetness, but now he only journeys by a desire to please God …………..”




To be continued

Sunday, March 8, 2009

44.Dark night of the soul, sixth installment

We were talking of what happens during the first dark night

In St John’s own words:
“When they are going about these spiritual exercises with the greatest delight and pleasure, and when they believe that the sun of Divine favor is shining most brightly upon them, God turns all this light of theirs into darkness, and shuts against them the door and the source of the sweet spiritual water which they were tasting in God whenever and for as long as they desired……”

“…….everything seem to be going wrong with them”

There are two signs of this condition ( ( i.e, sorrow during the first night ):

First, the person does not find any pleasure in anything, whether pertaining to God or any created thing. Second, God is in his thoughts constantly. He worries that he is not doing enough for God or he is backsliding in his quest of God. This second point distinguishes this condition from that of clinical depression. In depression one is not preoccupied about God.

The period of aridity is not continuous, but is interspersed with episodes of joy and sweetness during spiritual exercises, similar to what the traveler used to enjoy before he entered the first dark night of senses. Perhaps this is done to lighten their burden, which may otherwise break their spirit and completely crush them.

The cause of the greatest grief to these travelers is not the aridity itself, but the thought that God has abandoned them. They go over, in their minds, that what sin they might have committed which has displeased God and for which they are being punished.

This period of deprivation, darkness and misery may last for years. In the case of a great 14th century mystic, Suso (1), both nights lasted for about ten years.

God’s help comes during this period. In what form?

The answer is that it comes with enkindling of love for God.

Initially it is not felt, because it is a gradual process. The person starts yearning for God. The yearning increases. The vehemence of this love becomes an obsession.

How does this love arise? St John explains:

“ in the midst of these aridities…….there is an habitual care and solicitude with respect to God……..which is not a little pleasing to God that the soul should go afflicted and solicitous for His love. This solicitude and care leads the soul into that secret contemplation, until the senses (that is, the sensual part) having in course of time been in some degree purged……by means of the aridities…….this Divine love begins to be enkindled in the spirit”

St John, in his own words:

“…….the yearning for God becomes so great …..that the very bones seem to be dried up by this thirst, and the natural powers to be fading away,……….due to the intensity of the thirst of love, for the soul feels this thirst of love is a living thirst.” However its intensity fluctuates.
To be continued
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1. The life of blessed Henry Suso by himself by Thomas Francis Fox

Sunday, March 1, 2009

43. Dark night of the soul, fifth installment

We were talking of the other imperfections of the travelers such as lust and gold. Please read posting 42 first

And there are others temptations and attachments; power, greed, family ties, fame, etc. The reason that they are not mentioned in the imperfections which were discussed in the last installments is that these are weakness of the body, and had already been brought under fair (but not full) control by these beginners.
Otherwise, God would not have selected them for the two purification processes. St John was supervising nuns and monks; the people who had taken vows of poverty, celibacy and obedience. He was dealing with persons who had already forsaken wealth, marriage, family and many other worldly desires.

Here let me disclose a point, based on my own experience and of one other person, and not mentioned in spiritual literature that I have come across, and that is the observation that as one proceeds on spiritual journey (enters second stage )one becomes a better person without any extra effort of one’s own. It is a free gift that he gets. His defects gradually go away or come under good control.

This worthless mote lost most of his desire for money very early, I think during the first year. Next to leave was the desire to have powerful position in life. I soon started saying (vain silly boasting) that if God Himself offers to make me ruler of the world, I would beg Him to excuse me, because I neither want it nor am worthy of such honor . As I remember, next, fame lost its attraction. Lust was never completely gone but lost its hold. Next to last to go was jealousy and it took a long time for control over jealousy. Last was anger, which is still not under fair control, but it is better than before.

Sometimes during this journey one acquires truthfulness and humility. However, it should be noted that imperfections thought to have been conquered, often come back to humble the soul.

I have discussed it with some other travelers, and they verify this observation that one’s character improves. Love of God, drives other loves out.

Now let me describe the first night

First dark night, or purgation of the sensual part of soul.

I had thought that the first night begins with the second stage (when one starts meditation). But if one reads carefully what St John has written, it appears to start during the 3rd stage, after the first glimpse of Reality has already taken place. Part of the disparity lies in the staging systems. Most of the Western mystic literature consider stage I, or start of spiritual journey, the point at which first glimpse of Reality occurs (see Underhill’s classic book on mysticism )(1). I have called it stage 3a. According to their staging, a person suddenly gets contact with Divine current (like Mayorga did) and realizes what a tremendous event has taken place. He or she now wants it again, and so starts the quest of God.

What happens in the first dark night?

The answer is in two words : aridity and trials.

Aridity or dryness occurs during meditation and other spiritual practices. There is no joy, no consolation, no reward, and no sweetness. Whereas before, with spiritual exercises they used to get pleasure, now they don’t. On the contrary the practices result in blandness or even bitterness. The reason is that these beginners were indulging in self-love and were following their inclinations (gratification of their senses); God wants to lead them away from it.

To be continued
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1. Mysticism by Evelyn Underhill