Mkadk presents Part Three of the book, ‘Mkadk’s Journey towards Allah’. Part two was finished in July 2013. It was also translated in Urdu. Apart from relatives and acquaintances, very few persons have read it. Parts I and II were donated to some local libraries where some amongst the general public may have read it. The books have received little recognition with one exception of a person from India, who after reading my blogs on Swami Yogananda, decided to read his autobiography. Highest praise, which some friends gave, was to call the book ‘interesting’. However, the Great Mystic (see blog # 67) has been quoted regarding the book to say: “Only a person who loved God, could have written this book. Such person is beyond religion”. These words spoken from such a high authority has given me indescribable joy. The Great Mystic would not accept a copy of the book and said, “I have passed through this stage and have gone much farther”.
I have pondered over his remark. I have come to the following conclusions:
1. He recognized my intense love and longing for God which compels me to write
2. Once, he had the same type of love of God but now he has gone beyond that stage. If he had not loved Allah dearly, he would not have felt it in my book, because only a kindred spirit could have recognized it.
I have made progress in my spiritual quest. I have entered the second stage in the staging system of St. Teresa of Avila ( see blog #75). She compares the soul of a person to a garden. There are four ways this garden can be watered by:
1. taking the water from a well, and carrying it to the garden, a labor intensive method.
2. water-wheel and buckets, when the water is drawn by a windlass; a less laborious way.
3. a stream or a brook. This is very efficient and less laborious than the first two methods.
4. heavy rain, when God waters it Himself, when the water is needed. No effort of the gardener is needed.
The first stage of an spiritual quest is the longest and the toughest. Due to the effort of keeping the focus of thoughts on God, meditation is very labor intensive. My meditation has become much easier now. This boon was granted to me in January 2014, after fourteen years of meditation. This stage is also called ‘prayer of the quiet’. Being an older man, will I ever progress to the 3rd stage? Who knows? Everything is in His Hands. At present, my position is like that of moss at the bottom of the streams. The fast water of the world bends the moss, but it is unable to dislodge it from the rock of God.
My life in 1975 was a year of great anxiety and restlessness. I chose to remain unemployed while waiting word on a job application outside my country. Daily I would check the mail for the letter that would seal my future. I found myself becoming very despondant due to the absence of any letters. My mother observed my daily disappointment. One day, as I was lying on a cot, restless and dejected, she said to me in Pubjabi: “Once you are satiated with the world, turn to God, and then you will find peace.”
I jumped up from the bed as if I was touched by an electric current. I went to my room and brought my pocket diary. I wrote her words in the diary. I believe I still have that diary. I dedicate this Book III to her.
I turned to God, in earnest on December 13, 1999. I never did get the reward of peace as my mother had promised. I have found my restlessness to be less since January of 2014. The reason for this may be my intense desire currently not to have peace in my life. I have, without fail, asked God to not give me peace. I have often prayed, “ God! I don’t want peace. Give shanti to those who want it, like my Hindu friend. I want the water in the kettle, always simmering”.
The great saint Ramakrishna once told this story:
“A bird sat absentmindedly on the mast of a ship anchored in Ganges. Slowly the ship sailed into the ocean. When the bird came to its senses, it could find no shore in any direction. It flew towards the north hoping to reach land; it flew very far, and grew very tired but could find no land.
It returned to the mast and sat there. After a long while, the bird flew again, this time towards the east. It could not find land in that direction either; everywhere he saw nothing but limitless ocean.
Bird flew towards the south and then towards the west. When he could find no land anywhere, it settled down on the mast. It did not leave the mast again. It no longer felt restless or worried. Because it was free from worry, it made no further effort.
I want to thank my wife MB and my brother RQ for their constant help. Without them, the journey would have been harder.
April 17, 2014