180. Jesus And The Historians. Part two

 

We were discussing whether Jesus had a trial before the Roman governor, Pontius Pilate.

Aslan thinks that the gospel writers and Paul were trying to absolve the Roman Governor for crucifixion by putting all the blame on the Temple Authorities, and by doing so were trying to please the Romans. Jews had risen in revolt against Romans and had been crushed. The Temple had been destroyed in 70 A.D. Jews had scattered in Roman Empire and were trying to live peacefully with other nations (mostly in Roman Empire) and that is why they were trying to absolve the Roman Governor .

It is surprising that Aslan does not quote an impartial writer, who had no axe to grind one way or the other. In the Antiquities of the Jews, Jewish historian Josephus, stated (Ant 18.3.3):

“. Now there was about this time Jesus, a wise man, if it be lawful to call him a man; for he was a doer of wonderful works, a teacher of such men as receive the truth with pleasure. He drew over to him both many of the Jews and many of the Gentiles. He was [the] Christ. And when Pilate, at the suggestion of the principal men amongst us, had condemned him to the cross, (9) those that loved him at the first did not forsake him; for he appeared to them alive again the third day; (10) as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him. And the tribe of Christians, so named from him, are not extinct at this day...”.

Did the author present any evidence that the trial never took place? In other words did he find any writing or tablet saying that Jesus was never tried before the Roman Governor?

 

Thus the author violated the basic principle of research by rejecting all the four gospels and the letter of Paul, despite the fact that Mark was in Rome, Mathew in Damascus, Luke in Antioch, John in Ephesus, and Paul in Rome or Macedonia. They were also separated in time.

 

Aslan goes one step further. He contends that the trial before Caiaphas also did not take place (page 157). He furnishes a variety of minor reasons, but no evidence. To him, ‘the most troublesome aspect’ was the verdict; Jesus was not stoned to death.  All the scenes must have   been concocted by the gospel writers.

 

The back cover of the book has an excerpt by Judith Shulevitz. It characterizes Jesus as a ‘ A violent revolutionary,’‘ A fanatical ideologue’, ‘Odd and scary’

 

I wonder if the author approved such language.

Aslan rejects the arguments regarding the peaceful nature of his message. He furnishes 5 arguments to support his contention that Jesus envisaged that the aims of his revolution could not be achieved without violence.

1. He showed violent behavior in the Temple and instructed his disciples to buy swords (Luke 22:36-38). 
2. Jesus was promising Kingdom of God ( heaven), on earth
3. He meant peaceful behavior only towards Jews and not Romans
4. First century Palestine was seething with revolution
5. Jesus was crucified for sedition

Let us examine what the Synoptic Gospels, Josephus (a Jewish historian), and Tacitus (a Roman historian) have to say about this violent revolutionary.

1. There is zero evidence that Jesus was a violent revolutionary. He was a revolutionary alright but not a violent one. His revolution was not directed against the Romans but against the base nature of human beings. He wanted to reform us. He wanted us to love our fellow humans, even our enemies. He was an idealist, with an unachievable message, because he advocated selflessness, whereas self interest is the basis of all human and animal voluntary behavior. Let me quote his famous message:

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ ³⁹ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ⁴¹ If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^[b] and hate your enemy.⁴⁴ But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:38-44 )

"all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword".( Mathew 26:52)

Where is the evidence of violence? The author himself concedes as much. He writes that there was no evidence that Jesus himself openly advocated violent actions.( page 120)

Jesus was a human being. At least on three occasions he was overcome with emotions like all of us. Once in the Temple when he saw the deceit and the loot and overturned the tables of the money changers; second time in Mount of Olives before his arrest; and lastly just before his death, when he famously exclaimed, “ My God, my God, why have You forsaken me.” He was overcome with mercy on several other occasions.

The first two episodes are taken as evidence that Jesus was not a nonviolent person. May be he was not a pacifist, maybe he justified resistance against an enemy, but that is a far cry from advocating rebellion. Look at his life. Did he raise armies? Did his followers kill a single Roman soldier?

His distress before his arrest is heart wrenching, “³³ He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ³⁴ “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”

³⁵ Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. ³⁶ “Abba,^[a] Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what You will.” ( Mark 14:33-36).

 So what, if overcome with grief, he told his disciples to arm themselves with swords in their future journeys, so that they avoid what was going to happen to him in a short while. It is worth noting, that as the author mentions on page 124, Jesus knew his fate. He mentioned it to his disciples many times that he was soon going to be arrested, tortured, and killed. ( Mathew 16:21,17-22-23, 20:18-19; Mark 8:31, 9:31,10:33; Luke 9:22, 44, 18:32-33)”

To be continued

 

179. Jesus And The Historians. Part One

 

Recently, this mote came across a book (1), “Zealot, by Reza Aslan”. This is a book about historical Jesus. What are my credentials to say anything on this subject? Let me mention them right at the outset. I am a secular humanist, who does not believe in any religion, but passionately loves God. I also practice mysticism, but am still a novice. Furthermore, I am not unbiased, because I have tremendous respect for Jesus Christ. I also love Jesus.

The following are my impressions about this book in particular, and about other scholars in this area in general. After reading the book I had the overwhelming feeling of unfairness of the process to Jesus. I was mystified by the lack of uniform criteria for judging the authenticity of the data about the life of Jesus. It was as if the author had a preconceived conclusion. He selected the data which supported his contention and rejected or ignored the data which opposed his contention. This is not the way of science. I did research in cell biology for 6-7 years, I know what I am talking. I think scholars in other fields pursue the truth in a similar way: go the way the evidence leads you.

; don’t choose certain facts and ignore other facts, but consider all facts ( see blog 97 for more detail).

 

Let me give an example. The author himself acknowledges on page xx the importance of Q source (the material unique to the gospels of Mathew and Luke) and the gospel of Mark, which was the earliest of all gospels. He relied on them because they were ‘the earliest and thus the most reliable’.

Now won’t you set a criterion right from the beginning of your research, that if a narrative is present, in broad details, in all the three gospels, then it is correct. Of course there might be minor variations because they were written by different person(s) separated from each other in time and space. If a fact is mentioned in all four gospels or in all three gospels and in the letters of Paul, it should be considered indisputable. That does not necessarily mean that it is true, but it means that it was perceived as such by the gospel writers, unless all of them were lying. The only other possibility is that they were mistaken about what they saw or heard due to disease of mind: what they saw or heard was not real (although they thought it was real); it was a hallucination.

The investigator has to distinguish between these three possibilities: correct, lying, or impairment of the mind. Hallucinogic drugs, fatigue, or lack of sleep can temporarily cause the mind to play tricks.

 

Truth must be distinguished from correct, the two are not synonymous. For instance, New Testament is full of stories of people possessed by demons. Modern science will consider them to be suffering from epilepsy or hysteria, but people in those days truly believed that they were possessed by demons. The people were mistaken but not deliberate liars.

The scholars also take into consideration that the incidents written in the gospels have passed through many hands and thus may be polluted. But they, and the letters of Paul, are all that we have. Paul’s letters were written by him with no intervening persons, so are extremely important (although Aslan is not sure about some letters; see page 264). Josephus’s ‘Antiquities’ is of little help because, it does not throw any light on the life-history of Jesus.

Careful consideration should also be given to whether a reported incident is a fact or an opinion; is it just mentioned as an observation or the name of the observer is actually mentioned. For instance, this mote noted that mention is made in gospels of Mark, Mathew, and Luke, of a voice from heaven, after the baptism of Jesus, but no mention is made of the name of person(s) who heard the voice.

 

Now let us first consider the trial of Jesus by the Roman Governor, Pontius Pilate. It is a detail of the final hours of his life which has been mentioned in all four gospels and by Paul.( Mark 15:1; Mathew 27:11; Luke 23:13; John 18:29-40, 1 Timothy 6:13 )  Aslan goes at great length to advocate the notion that the trial never happened, although in one place he grudgingly concedes the possibility.

He uses very strong language. Here is what he has to say: ‘The story of Jesus’ trial as narrated by gospels was a drama, purely fictitious, concocted by Mark, and one should completely dismiss it. The Roman Governor would not even have sat in the same room as Jesus, what to talk of granting him a trial. The trial was a pure fantasy, did not make any sense at all, was never held, there was no need of a trial; etc. ( pages, 148-149, 152-154, 156,158)’

 

To be continued

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

(1) Zealot^___The life and times of Jesus of Nazareth by Reza Aslan. Published by Random House, 2013

 

178. Saint Paul. Part Three

 

He was guided by Holy Spirit and Jesus. Here is what he said:

 

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. ²³ I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. ²⁴ However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace”. (Acts 20:22-24)

 

²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:19-20 )

 

He worked for his living and was not a burden on society. Here is what he declared:

 

“I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. ³⁴ You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. ³⁵ In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”( Acts 20:33-35)

 

He asked a very important question, which had and has puzzled humanity for ages :

 

“ Well then , you might say, ‘Why does God blame people for not listening ? Haven’t they simply done what He made them do?’

²⁰ But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” ²¹ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?” ( Romans 9:19-21)

 

There was a great confusion amongst the new Christians who were originally non-Jews (Gentiles) as to what foods they were supposed to eat or not eat. For instance Jews did not eat pork but other nations ate pork. Jews who converted to Christianity like St Peter and other Apostles did not eat pork. St Paul clarified the matter ( same problem was about circumcision ). He has mentioned it in many of his letters. Let me quote:

¹⁴ I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. ¹⁵ If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. ¹⁶ Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.             (Romans 14:14-17)

 

This mote believes in one God. Christians have Holy Trinity. I would like to quote what Paul said:

⁶ But for us, “There is only one God, the Father. Everything came from him, and we live for him.
There is only one Lord, Jesus Christ. Everything came into being through him, and we live because of him.” (1 Corinthians 8:6)

St Paul had the power to perform some type of miracles. Here is one mention of it:

¹¹ And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: ¹² So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them.¹³ Then certain of the vagabond Jews, exorcists, took upon them to call over them which had evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preacheth. (Acts 19:11-13)

St Paul and the Apostles had a very hard life. What kept them going? St Paul gives a moving answer:

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of^[b] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-18)

 

169. Jesus Christ seen/heard over centuries. Part one

 

Anything which is quoted from a mystic/yogi/saint/prophet in these blogs must fulfill one of these two requirements:

 1. It should be taken from an autobiography of that mystic. It will be an authentic account because such persons don’t lie. They may, though, misinterpret the event.

2. It should be written by a person of high integrity who heard it himself from the mystic’s mouth.

3. It should not be taken from a religious scripture, except as a brief quotation, such as Bible, Gita, or Koran

 

 All the incidents that I have ever quoted in all of my blogs fulfill one of these conditions, except the first encounter of the holy prophet Muhammad^pbuh with an entity (blog 147). I have included it because the holy prophet^pbuh told it himself to others. Most of the incidents are taken from the following books:

• A search in secret Egypt by Paul Brunton
• .A search in secret India by Paul Brunton
• .Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda
• .In Quest of God by Swami Ramdas
• .Living with kundalini by Gopi Krishna
• .Pilgrim of stars by Dilip Kumar Roy and Indra Devi
• .Shahab Nama by Shahab
• .The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna by Swami Nikhilananda
• .The Hunger of the Soul by Nancy Mayorga
• .The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection. Translated by Salvatore Scurba
• .The life of Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila. Translated by Allison Peers
• Confessions By St Augustine
• Kashaf-ul Mahjoob by Data Gunj Bakhash
• The dark night of the soul, by St John of the cross. Translated by Allison Peers

•  The autobiography of St Therese of Lisieux. Translated by John Beevers
  There are some incidents taken from other books but they pass the same standards. However, in some places, either I or my brother RQ is the witness of the events.
  I have stated these conditions, but I still want to tell you the vision of Jesus by St. Paul, mentioned in the Bible. Why is that? Because it is authentic. St Paul himself mentioned it, or Luke, a disciple and companion of Paul, narrated it, so he must have heard it from Paul himself. Many persons saw Jesus after his death, as mentioned in the Bible, but those persons did not write their account.
  1. I quote from New Testament:
  “As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul (see footnote), Saul, why do you persecute me?”
  “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
  "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
  The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.
  —Acts 9:3–9
   
  Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.
  —Acts 9:17–19
  Paul, himself, gave the same account with some differences in Acts 22; 6-13, and in Acts 26:12-18
   
  2. Paul received instructions from Jesus some other times too. Here is an incident:
   
  “It happened when I returned to Jerusalem and was praying in the temple, that I fell into a trance, and I saw Him saying to me, 'Make haste, and get out of Jerusalem quickly, because they will not accept your testimony about Me.' "And I said, 'Lord, they themselves understand that in one synagogue after another I used to imprison and beat those who believed in You.’ And when the blood of Your witness Stephen was being shed, I also was standing by approving, and watching out for the coats of those who were slaying him.'"And He said to me, 'Go! For I will send you far away to the Gentiles (non-Jews).'"
  ___Acts 22:17-21
   
  3. Here is an account of the conversation between Jesus and a man named Ananias:
   
  Now there was a disciple at Damascus named Ananias; and the Lord said to him in a vision, "Ananias." And he said, "Here I am, Lord." And the Lord said to him, "Get up and go to the street called straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lays his hands on him, so that he might regain his sight." “Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”
  But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”__Acts (9:10-15)
  To be continued
  _______________________________________________________________________________
  ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Footnote. ST Paul’s original name was Saul

167.foreword

167. Foreword

 

Mkadk presents part four of my ‘Journey towards the Great God’. It is a collection of blogs 134-166. I have made no further advance in my quest. It has gradually dawned on me that I have two missions; first mission is to reach God, and the second is to invite others to the Light of God. As of now, I have failed in both missions. The door of God is still closed and I have not awakened the love of God in anybody. Those who are worldly, do not read my blog, or books, or listen to my poems on YouTube. They are not interested in God. Those who are religious are happy in their own rituals. They do not have an inner thirst for spirituality. They praise God, they thank God, they pray to God, they are afraid of God, but they do not love God. They are not even attached to God. They do all those things as a habit, in an absent minded way. Those who are devout worshippers do not need my book because they are quite content, and may get nearness to God in their own way. Only two persons have really liked my books, and praised them, but they are already far advanced in mysticism, much more than I. One of them, Shah Sahib, said, “He should not concern himself about approbation from others; he has been assigned a task, he should just do it.”

 

Whatever I wanted to convey to others has been completed. In these four books I have attempted to answer all the riddles which had perplexed me for years. I will keep on writing more blogs, but they will be about men and women of God or of books, but not about complex subjects. Here is a summary of those topics that I have covered:

1. There are eighteen blogs on God (blogs 97-114).

2. There are three blogs on mysticism, as I understand it (blogs 93-95)

3. There are nine blogs on Fate versus Free will (blogs 134-142)

4. There are six blogs on the systems created by God for the governance of this world (blogs 143-148)

5. There are three blogs on development and critique of religions (blogs 149-151)

6. There are twelve blogs on dark night of the soul (blogs 39-50)

 

Some things have to be added about the proof of God, as provided in my blogs. Without the existence of God, one cannot explain the creation of universe, prophecies about future events, miracles, answer to prayers, and the existence of spirits of dead people. Atheists scoff at these five arguments. They call it “God of gaps argument”. What they mean is that science cannot explain certain things, such as those I have mentioned. They say, these are gaps in our knowledge. That does not mean there is God who is the perpetrator of them, therefore, they are not proofs of God. We, the scientists, are working on these gaps. May be in another five hundred or a thousand years, we will have satisfactory scientific explanation of them.

 

Although I do agree, as I have mentioned in blog 146 (Reply of Einstein), that these supernatural events must be carried out by some yet undiscovered laws, because that is the way of God; everything follows laws, created by Him. Therefore, in a sense, nothing is supernatural. However, even if a thousand years from now we discover the new laws explaining these occurrences, they will still point to a Supreme Mind.

 

The obstinacy of atheists astounds me. They follow two basic assumptions, without any absolute requirement or logical reason to adopt them, as if they were some self evident truths, such as that an elephant is bigger than an ant. These two assumptions are: There is no God, and Revealed knowledge is not true knowledge because it is not testable. All their hypotheses regarding these five supernatural phenomena are based on these two rules that they have adopted. Let us examine some of them.

 

1. God created the universe, because nothing can be created from absolute nothing (discussed in detail in blog 101). Therefore atheist scientists said; No! Universe must have been created from nothing, since we, the scientists, believe that there is no God (and that is an inviolable, unshakable fact to us). A scientist Alan Guth called the universe, an ultimate free lunch.

2.   Bertrand Russell said“...The universe is just there, and that's all.” That means there is no origin of universe. So, Russell denies the current understanding that the universe started from a Big Bang 13.8 billion years ago, and stars and galaxies gradually evolved.

3. David Hume, a Scottish philosopher, said that there are no miracles, because miracles violate laws of nature, which is impossible. It is just superstition. St Augustine relates the miracle of incorrupt dead bodies (blog 160):

“God revealed Bishop Ambrose, in a vision, where the bodies of martyrs Protasius and Gervasius were hidden.  All these years (over two hundred) You had preserved them incorrupt.”

 

Saint Augustine was far from a superstitious fool.

 

4. The chance of intelligent life to arise is 1 followed by 117 zeroes (see blog 153). This is an extremely small chance. The answer by atheist scientists is; have infinite universes. Infinite has 1 followed by infinite zeroes( trillions, googol, googolplex or even more zeroes ), at least  in one of them ( one out of 10¹¹⁷) everything would be exactly right, and intelligent life will emerge.

We cannot fathom one universe. Consider having infinite universes! Who created them? It reminds me of world of fantasy. Create whatever you want, in your mind, and call it a hypothesis, without an iota of data. Keep the mantra; no God, no revealed knowledge.

 

Coming back to the beautiful world of spirituality. God is not a supposition to the great mystics and prophets, because they have actually experienced God. Some have actually seen the light of God, although it had deleterious effects on them. Moses and Saint Paul and Shah Sahib saw it. Moses fell unconscious. Paul became temporarily blind. Shah Sahib (his original name is Noor Alam), a Sufi mystic, told my brother, that he can see the light of God in his mind’s vision, with closed eyes. This mote has written three blogs on Shah Sahib ( 153-155).

These scientists must pause for a minute and realize the absurdity of their denial of a Creator, because it requires three suppositions: universe was created from absolute nothing; intelligent life emerged by itself, against insurmountable odds; and all these dozens of incidents which I have narrated must be wrong and these persons must be liars. It is as if a man was hit three times with lightning on his three birthdays

 

St Augustine could not answer the question that how prophets could see future (blog 159). He wrote:

“For it is utterly impossible that things which do not exist should be revealed. The means by which You do this is far beyond our understanding. I have not the strength to comprehend this mystery, and by my own power I never shall.”

 This mote has attempted to answer this riddle. See explanation 6 in blog 141 and further discussion in blog 142.

Fifteen years and two months have passed since the start of my journey towards God

 

Mkadk

 13^th February, 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

161. Saint Augustine. Part three; Conversion

 

A fellow countryman of Augustine by the name of Ponticianus visited him in his house and saw St Paul’s epistles at his table. His close friend and fellow countryman from Africa, Alypius was also there. Ponticianus told them the story of Antony, the Egyptian monk, whose name was held in high honor. They were astonished to hear of the wonders You had worked so recently, almost in their own times, and witnessed by so many. Then he told them of the time when he and three of his companions were strolling in the gardens. Two of them got separated and came to the house of some men, who were although poor in spirit, but had the kingdom of heaven within them. In that house they found a book containing the life of Antony. One of them started to read it. The book had a profound impression upon him. Augustine writes:

 

“All at once he was filled with the love of holiness. Angry with himself and full of remorse, he looked at his friend and said, ‘What do we hope for the efforts we make?.......Can we hope for anything better at court than to be Emperor’s friends?.......’

While he was reading, a cry broke from him. He said to his friend ‘I have torn myself free of all ambitions and have decided to serve God. From this very moment, here and now, I shall start to serve Him.’ The other answered that he would stand by his comrade….. So these two, now Your servants, built their tower at the cost which had to be made, that is, at the cost of giving up all they possessed and following You.

Both these men were under a promise of marriage, but once the two women heard what had happened, they too dedicated their virginity to You.” 

The story had a tremendous effect on Augustine. He writes: 

‘In the heat of the fierce conflict which I had stirred up against my soul……I turned to Alypius and explained “What is the matter with us? What is the meaning of this story? These men have not had our schooling, yet they stand up and storm the gate of heaven,………….while we lie here groveling in this world of flesh and blood!’

 

Augustine took refuge in the garden attached to the house. He was beside himself with madness. He was frantic, overcome with violent anger with himself for not accepting His will. He was wracked with indecision. He tore his hair and hammered his forehead with fists. He locked his fingers and hugged his knees. He wanted to take the course of serving God, but also he willed himself not to take it. 

A great storm broke into him, bringing with it a deluge of tears. He states: 

“I was asking myself questions, weeping all the while with the most bitter sorrow in my heart, when all at once I heard the sing-song voice of a child in a nearby house. Again and again it repeated the refrain

‘Take it and read, take it and read ’. At this I looked up, thinking hard whether there was any kind of game in which children used to chant words like these, but I could not remember ever hearing it before. I stemmed my tears and stood up, telling myself that this could only be a divine command to open my book of Scripture and read the first passage on which my eyes should fall. For I had heard the story of Antony who had heard in a church a counsel which he thought was addressed to him. He heard ‘Go home and sell all that belongs to you. Give it to the poor…………….then come back and follow me’.

He had obeyed the counsel”.

He rushed back and opened the book of Paul’s Epistles. He read the first passage on which his eyes fell:

 

Not in reveling and drunkenness, not in lust and wantonness, not in quarrel and rivalries. Rather, arm yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ; spend no more thoughts on nature and nature’s appetite

 

As he came to the end of sentence, a light of confidence surged in his heart and all the darkness of doubt was dispelled. He was now calm. He told Alypius what had happened to him. Alypius asked to see what he had read. He read on beyond the text Augustine had read. It said: 

Find room among you for a man of over-delicate conscience.

 

Alypius applied this to himself and told Augustine so. The admonition was enough to give him strength and he also made his resolution without any hesitation. And it very well suited his moral character, which had long been far, far better than Augustine’s.

Then they went and told Monica (mother of Augustine), who was overjoyed. As has been stated in a previous blog, she had been praying and weeping daily to the Lord, for Augustine’s conversion.

To be continued

 

160. Saint Augustine. Part two; Conversion

 

St Augustine carried on his pursuit for worldly gains and passions till he was 32 years old. He taught the art of public speaking to pupils. He was studying for the law. He was at the top of the school for rhetoric. He was pleased with his superior status and swollen with conceit. He was vain and ambitious and wanted to cut a fine figure in the world. He was eager for fame, wealth and marriage. He consulted imposters, the astrologers (although he refused to consult sorcerers because they sacrificed animals and prayed to spirits). He went to the theatre and watched the spectators enjoy their sadness, by witnessing the tragedy and suffering on the stage (although to his credit, he never liked the gladiatorial shows because of the cruelty).

He described himself: ‘But why do I talk of these things? I lived in misery, like every man whose soul is tethered by the love of things that cannot last and then is agonized to lose them’

 

 He was a slave of lust. He had a mistress and together they had a son. After she left him and went back to Africa, he found another mistress. He describes those days:

 

 “I had prayed to You for chastity and said ‘Give me chastity and continence, but not yet’. For I was afraid that You would answer my prayer at once and cure me too soon for the disease of lust, which I wanted satisfied, not quelled”

 

His dear friend died. He mourned for him. He narrates his grief in eight pages ‘What madness, to love a man as something more than human! What folly to grumble at the lot man has to bear! I lived in a fever, convulsed with tears and sighs that allowed me neither rest nor peace of mind’

 

He wondered about the powers the astronomers possessed; they could foretell eclipses of sun and moon many years before they happened, and whether the eclipse would be total or partial.

 

But he still searched for truth. He read many books, including Aristotle’s ‘Ten Categories’. He talked to many learned men but none could satisfy him. He writes:

 

‘Truth! Truth! How the marrow of my soul within me yearned for it’

 

And finally, he met a man of God; Bishop Ambrose, in Milan (now called St. Ambrose), who was known throughout the world for his goodness. He writes: ‘Unknown to me, it was You who led me to him, so that I might knowingly be led by him to You. This man of God received me like a father…….My heart warmed to him’.

 

Although he could not talk to Ambrose face to face, because the Bishop was always busy, but at least, over a period of time, after listening to the sermons of Ambrose he turned towards Catholic teaching. He writes:

 

‘I was glad too that at last I had been shown how to interpret the Holy Scripture of the law and the prophets in a different light from that which I had previously made them seem absurd’.

 

He narrates a strange incident. It is not clear whether it was day or night, and whether he was asleep or awake.

 

‘I entered the depth of my soul…….I saw the Light……….. What I saw was quite different from any light we know on earth…... It shown above my mind……... It was above me because it was the Light itself that made me, and I was below because I was made by it. All who know that Light, and all who know this Light know eternity’.

‘I heard your voice calling from on high, saying “I am the food of full-grown men. Grow and you shall feed on Me. But you shall not change Me into Your own substance, as you do with the food of your body. Instead you shall be changed into Me’”

 

He now started loving God! But he was amazed that he did not persist in enjoying Him. He began to search the means to gain strength in enjoying God. He found the strength through the mediator between God and men, Jesus Christ.

He derived great joy and comfort in writing of Apostle Paul.

 

This mote has learnt that if one adopts the path of religion to reach God (which unfortunately I could not) then due to certitude the task becomes easier. St Augustine makes this point:

 

‘It is one thing to catch sight of the land of peace……and unable to find the way to it, struggle on through trackless wastes where traitors and runaways, captained by their prince,……lie in wait to attack. It is another thing to follow the high road to that land of peace, the way that is defended by the care of the Commander’.

 

Two mystics (Shahab and the mystic from Bhaun, Pakistan, blogs 65-6,103) have written in their books, that they were never assailed by doubts.

 

Now, the chain of events which led to the most important event of his life; the episode of the garden.

 

To be continued.
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