54. One sided conversation with God

 

Oh God, dear God

Please stop, please stop

And listen to me

Please listen to me

 

 

I spent my life away from You

I spent my youth and adulthood away from You

I am ashamed, I am sorry

But what is the use

What is done cannot be undone

Time does not come back

Oh God I am ashamed, I am sorry

 

 

I was caught in the web of life

My heart was full of desires

I followed them with every breath

Like the shadow follows the body

All living things avoid pain and seek pleasure

I was no different

I followed the supreme law


 

Where was the time for You

Even if I remembered You

It was more of a ritual, a habit

Thoughts never left the world

 

 

Now that old age has come

Drama of life is going to be over

Now I think of You

 

 

I want to say something, oh God

Don’t be angry

Don’t consider me insolent

I want to tell You my side

 

 

I am a product of nature and nurture

I got my nature from my parents

Half the genes from my mother

And half from my father

I was nurtured at where I was born

And where I grew up

 

 

Neither in nature nor in nurture

I had any say

Nobody asked me my wishes

Where do you want to be born

Where do you want to be raised

Who should be your parents

 

 

Oh God whatever I am

Circumstances made me so

You made me so

Everything originates from You

 

 

 

This is not an excuse for my shortcomings

Decisions were mine, responsibility is mine

This is not a complaint

This is not an indictment of you

I know I am a tiny part

Of a huge system

Whose laws were set by You

At the beginning of time

And can never be changed



You fixed the speed of light
You made air essential to life
You made atoms small and large
You decreed the electron's charge

 

 

These are just pathos

These are just pathos

For lost time

The time I wasted

For things that could have been

I could have been closer to You

This thought is like a dagger in my heart

 

 

Oh God

Whatever life is left

Please

Draw mkadk closer to You

Please

Draw mkadk nearer to You

Oh god, dear God

Oh God, dear God

 

 

Note. I have a pathetic version of abovewitten in my voice as a song-like thing, but the blog does not have the means to put it here
I have put it on You Tube

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8aftPTI0W4&feature=youtu.be

you can also see the videos by
----go to You Tube.com
----Then type mkadk or mkadk.afnta